Welcome back, excelsior and all that. You may have suspected from the last session that after jumping forward a year and introducing the Bothan spies with Death Star II plans, that we are coming around the final stretch on our OT campaign and we will start overlapping with Return of the Jedi soon.
Well, your suspicions would be correct.
But as I mentioned previously, I want to run one more module, the one that's been described as WEG's "best." And that is Tatooine Manhunt.
You'll recall that our heroes left Tatooine way back in session III. I did promise to return there but didn't know when I'd bring them back for Tatooine Manhunt. Well, the way things played out, the time is now.
Ironically, this is yet another module that is out of sequence. Tatooine Manhunt was the first module created, and it is set shortly after the events of Episode IV, but it will be the last module we play and I'm setting it during the events of Episode VI.
Anyway, let's get to that opening crawl.
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| I keep telling you. It's NOT the Falcon. It's the Silverlight! |
Opening Crawl:
Session 31 - Daughters of the Suns
One year after the Silverlight and its crew went missing, the ragtag group of Rebel commandos race to return to the fleet with information that could turn the tide of the Galactic Civil War.
Meanwhile, the Twi’lek shopkeeper-turned-assassin Soan Voan is quite eager to return to the desert planet of Tatooine to reunite with her sister, Oola, whom she used as collateral to borrow business startup funds.
It’s been five years since she left the sandy outer rim planet behind to make her fortune...
The camera pans down to the Silverlight racing through hyperspace.
On board....
Gonner: So... you’re saying I died? That can’t be right. I was with you this whole time!
Turk: You died right in front of me. Impaled on the flight stick. We crash landed on Tatooine.
Gonner: That's not right. I was with you on Tatooine! See this scar? It came from the Sarlaac!
Turk: Well wait a minute. If we didn't crash land, then we would have landed in the docking bay and we would have met Greedo and delivered our shipment and we would have been on our way. That means we wouldn't have double-crossed Jabba and there wouldn't have been a bounty for us and we wouldn't have been fed to the Sarlaac. So this isn't adding up.
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| The GM is also an authority on fictional time travel, and this type of time travel where the travelers remember events from a previous timeline does not work within the replacement theory, that is where history is changed in a way that affects the present, because the travelers' memories would also be affected. So technically this makes our story impossible, but sometimes you fudge it because it works better narratively. |
Gonner: What are you talking about. Ah, right.. you don't remember cause you remember the old timeline. See, we were supposed to meet Greedo in the cantina at noon, but when we arrived he was dead. When people found out we had business with him they hinted that we'd better give Jabba what's his or else. No excuses. So with Mos Eisley on lockdown, we broke out of the city in a beat-up land speeder and some speeder bikes, met Jabba to explain where his shipment was, and that's when you agreed to do his errand for the Empire. Only we somehow joined the rebellion instead of giving him his reward money.
Turk: Well huh.. I guess that does make sense then. But I still can't remember you being there the whole time.
Gonner: Don’t you remember me figuring out those ghosts in the Alderaan ruins were holograms?
Hal: Wait a minute... they were holograms?
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| D'Wook facepalmed. But remember now, his hand is no longer bionic. They didn't fight the space slug on Alderaan. |
In fact, it wasn't just D'Wook facepalming. It was everyone.
Gonner: Didn’t I guard the ship during the Cloud City mission? Remember when we stormed Tir Asleen castle? What about the battle of Hoth? I was flying the third snowspeeder with you guys! Then we fell back to Echo base and got captured by Darth Vader. Then we fought our way off the Subjugator and learned that Private Errter doublecrossed us when we got back to the fleet. Then we botched the Dagger mission and ended up on the Kuari Princess. I wrestled Lt. Barclay on Planet Doom in a Dark Match...
Turk: You went up against Lt. Barclay?
Gonner: Yeah! I was so glad, because they wanted to put be up against 006, but he was apparently on a secret mission. So then they tried to put me up against Boromir, but one does not simply create a match using a less famous LOTR character when you have Gollum on the card. Then they tried to put me up against Ned Stark, but he wasn't available because he'd lost his head over some kind of political issue.
Turk: So you're saying you wrestled Barclay. Can we watch that match?
Gonner: We should be able to, it's streaming on HoloNetflix.
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| Apparently some in the audience were confused as to who Gonner was. Oh yea... also... They should have all had blue skin. |
Turk: Okay.. so just so we know. What else happened since then?
Gonner: Well, we freed some enslaved blue people, and then we captured Moff Wolf on the Kuari Princess. Then we found an old Jedi temple on a piece of Alderaan asteroid... where D'Wook and Hal had this weird mixup... I helped you and Hal, who was in D'Wook's body, lay bombs during that party in the park on the Coruscant mission... and I flew a ship with Hal when we were trying to figure out who in the Rebel brass was a spy. Its a good thing too, because we were able to recover that holocron thanks to me. Hal pulled back on the thrust and if it wasn’t for my quick thinking we’d have crashed into it and broken it... I was able to maneuver out of the way and then position ourselves to pick it up. So then we decided to go to Dagobah to fix D'Wook and Hal's problem and we entered the temple... and as we were moving consciousnesses between each of us, we eventually were in my 4th grade classroom and we made the choice not to blow that spitball at the teacher that in my memory caused her to get so enraged that she had a heart attack and died right there. I'm guessing this means she's still alive.
L1-NK: Beep boop beep boop.
Gonner: Her name was Mrs. Rendar, and I was a student of Sector 334-7B Elementary.
L1 accessed the ship's computer and began looking at publicly available records for a Mrs. Rendar who taught 4th grade at Sector 334-7B Elementary School on Corellia about 35 years ago.
L1-NK: Beep beep boop boop.
Gonner: Really? She had a kid a few years later?
L1-NK: Beep beep boop boop.
Gonner: Dash Rendar? Never heard of him!
(Note: Neither have any of the other Delta Team members. This wasn't actually brought up during the session but I am adding it to the writeup, because Dash Rendar is apparently someone who Star Wars nerds really really like. I was never a big fan of anything not in the movies, so I am only kind of aware of who he is. But he is apparently so awesome that he is Boba Fett tier in how awesome people think he is even though "most people don't know how awesome he is because they only watch the movies, and the Star Wars universe is so much than those movies, in fact the movies take away from the lore of the universe because they stifle the creativity of everything that comes after it. Star Wars would be so much better if it wasn't for those pesky movies!" Of course, I disagree. The movies are like, the lynchpin that holds it all together and the EU or legends or whatever you want to call it now, would be nothing without the movies.)
Gonner: Enough about me tho.. (He gestured to Hal and D'Wook, who were now in their own bodies) So.. in that cave... what happened to you two?
D'Wook glanced at Hal.. who glanced back, knowingly.
D'Wook: Yeah... we're not gonna talk about that one.
Hal: (Shuddering) Not saying a word.
Vero: Hey we're coming up on the fleet now. I'm taking her out of lightspeed.
The stars stopped being lines and were dots again.
Turk got on the comms and requested to dock with Home One
Comms: The Silverlight? This can’t be real!
Turk: Trust me. It's us.
Comms: You’ve been away for a whole year! We thought you’d all been killed, or worse, you went on a foolhardy mission to Coruscant again and gotten yourselves captured.
Turk: No, not captured. And we didn't go to Coruscant. I promise you.
Comms: Go ahead and fly aboard.
Turk piloted the ship and docked with Home One.
In the Hangar Bay, Mon Mothma herself was waiting come to receive them.
Mothma: In my office... now!!!!
Vero: Yes sir!
The entirety of Delta Team followed her into her office and she pushed the remote to lock the door behind them.
Mothma: Alright.. Where in the galaxy have you all been? Captain Morelock? Captain Turk?
Vero: We came back as soon as we could. We have a datatape that you need to see.
Mothma: Hand it over. Let’s see what’s on it!
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| Mon Mothma's desk cape equipped with the proper data retrieval device. |
Mothma’s face showed a wave of deep concern.... On the holoprojector was the Death Star II, still under construction.
Mothma: Where did you get this?
Turk: We recovered it from some Bothans who were shot down over Dagobah.
Mothma: Our spies! What happened to them?
Turk: They didn't make it.
Mothma: Were there many of them?
Turk: Yes, there were many of them.
Mothma: What's this other file? Oh my! It's the Emperor's schedule! It looks like he'll be on board the Death Star in two weeks time!
Hal: But that's not important right now. We also have to tell you about Far Far Stinks.
Mothma: Who?
Hal: Well, see he's a Gungan Sith Lord who we ran into on the Cloud City mission who became robotized and well now he's intent on taking control of this new Death Star so that he can take over the galaxy.
Mothma: So we should destroy the Death Star, right?
Hal: Yes. But this is more urgent than even if the Empire controls it because he'll not distinguish between either of us and take the whole galaxy over. So our priority should be taking out Far Far.. not so much the empire.
Mothma: So... we should destroy the Death Star, right?
Hal: Yes.. well.. see you don't seem to understand.. What I'm trying to say is..
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| Dude! |
Mothma: Not now T-3P0 this is top secret stuff. No droids or other visitors allowed.
Delta Team got a look of nervousness.
T-3P0: Yes, Madame... I shall then return to droid storage.
Vero: Um... so you still have T-3P0 working for you? Even though... we found out she's a spy?
Mothma: Oh.. don’t worry about her. It's not even the same droid. The T-3P0 you knew was tried and sentenced to termination by a jury of fellow droids. This one is a replacement we made from spare parts of other damaged droids you brought back from Coruscant.
Vero: Well why does she have the same name?
Mothma: So.. there are droids maintaining the droid database. Apparently assigning the designation of a previously used droid is simpler to code than creating new entries for new droids and deleting the old ones. I don't really know I'm not much into data management. But yes, we’ve doubled down on security so our secrets don’t get out. In fact... I need to verify you all are who you say you are. The empire could be using clones to spy on us... I’m going to ask you all a question from your personnel bio that only you would know.
(Note: So every now and then I give people a quiz prior to the opening crawl and award them CP if they get the answers right. It's my way of giving thanks to the players actually paying attention to the story they are making, since if they are going to take part in this story, y'know, being a part of it is kind of important. I give everyone five character points for a right answer, except for Hal's player, who has the chance to get lots of character points and force points. Anyway, I thought it would be neat to make the quiz in game instead of before the opening crawl.)
Mon Mothma: Hal, who are all the force users that you have trained under?
Hal's player was unfortunately not present. so he missed out on potentially 10 cp and 2 fp.
1. Schala Zeal
2. Cherlindrea
3. Ahsoka Tano
4. Yoda
Award: 1 correct = 5cp, 2 correct = 10 cp, 3 correct = 10 cp + 1 FP, 4 correct = 10 cp + 2FP
(Note: Too easy you say? Maybe so... but he wasn't there anyway so it doesn't matter).
Mon Mothma: D’Wook, What was the name of the clone wars era ship recovered from the Graveyard of Alderaan?
D'Wook: Um... I didn't speak Basic back then. Um... mind's blanking here.
Mothma: Ok... multiple choice then. A)Last Chance, B) Second Chance, C) Another Chance, D) No Chance
D'Wook: Um... Another Chance?
(D'Wook got 3 cps. He'd have gotten 5 if he'd been correct without multiple choice.)
Mothma: Turk, What type of gun do you wield?
Turk's player: Y'know this is bad. My character surely would know this. He eats breathes and lives guns. But I can't remember this at all. I just wrote down what it does, not the type of gun it was. But I don't want multiple choice. I just want Turk to know the exact make and model. I'll roll knowledge.
GM: Okay well this would be very easy for Turk, so just don't get zero.
The roll was nonzero.
Turk: Duh. It's obviously a vintage Clone Wars era MKII Paladin sentate guard ceremonial blaster rifle.
(Zero character points for Turk)
Mothma: Golden Wheels, what type of droid did you fight in the Robot Wars competition?
Golden Wheels: Um.. what type?
Mothma: Yes, what type?
Golden Wheels: An... Autobot?
Mothma: No... not in the GWF. In Robot Wars.
Golden Wheels: Oh.. that thin.. cylinder guy. um.. The 88.
Mothma: Yes, well 88 would be its designation, not its type. And I hope you didn't face 88. He's ruthless.
Golden Wheels's player: I don't know this kind of stuff man.
GM: Yeah, well you're only 14 so I can't expect you to know Star Wars lore back and forth. You remembered 88 from IG-88, which is the most famous IG droid. So I'll give it to you.
(GW got 5 cps)
Mon Mothma: Lo’Sar Tan, what was the name of your ship prior to it having been named the Silverlight by Turk?
Lo'Sar: Trick question. I named it the Silverlight.
(Note: I am a bad GM. Lo'Sar's player DID give an answer but I am forgetting. In the section where I award people for remembering obscure facts that I thought up.. I'm now forgetting something a player thought up. But he got 5 points anyway.)
Mon Mothma:Vero, what was the name of the other Moff.. the one you care less about killing?
Vero: Moff Gideon
(Ver0 got 5 cp).
Mon Mothma: Soan, who was your “supplier” on the Subjugator.
Soan: Private Pidge... who was actually a Rebel agent all this time.
(I don't remember if Soan answered correctly and I don't know if I gave her points.)
Mothma: L1, who did you defeat in the Wrestling match?
L1: Mario
(L1 got 5 cps)
Mothma: Who played Bass guitar on the Kuari Princess?
Grundle: Turk!
(5 character points ... Grundle was also not present, but I gave him this question in the next session retroactively)
Mothma: What is the gestation of a typical Ewok?
(Maki's player was not there. She's moved to a different city. The answer is ... well, less than a year I guess).
Mothma: Okay, so I am convinced you are who you say you are. Thank you for bringing these Death Star plans. We shall analyze them and plan our attack. Meanwhile, for your distinguished service, I am reinstating you into the Rebellion. Welcome back Delta Team. Captain Morelock.... I’m promoting you to Major and giving you full authority to use discretion in the field to act in the interest of the Rebellion in cases where checking in with Rebel command is not possible.
She tore off the velcro captain patch from her uniform and affixed the major patch.
Mothma: Congratulations, Major!
Vero gave a salute. Delta team clapped.
Mon Mothma: It will take about a week to get the paperwork done. Until then, I can’t give you any official orders. So you can go do anything you want to do... tie up any loose ends, visit family... I’m sure you’ve already thought of what you’re doing next... Just... for my own sanity though... could you just tell me what your plans are?
Soan: Well. I've got some stuff I have to take care of back home on Tatooine.
Vero: And we're going with her. Soan is a valuable part of this team.
Mothma: Alright. I’ll make a note of that. Officially this mission is off the books and the Rebellion will not take any responsibility for your actions, nor will it come to your rescue. Is that understood?
The door opened and Admiral Ackbar and Princess Leia stepped in.
Mothma: Just in time for our staff meeting.
Ackbar: Delta Team has returned. I was not prepared for a surprise of this magnitude!
Leia: Welcome back.... Ooh.. congratulations on your promotion, Major.
Vero: Thanks...
Mothma: Report for duty in one week’s time. Delta Team dismissed.
As they left Mothma began talking to Leia and Ackbar about ships in the hangar bay and what missions they will be used for. As they were exiting, They heard Mothma say:
Mothma: And Delta Team isn't taking the Silverlight to erhm... Tatooine.
Leia let out an audible gasp.
The door closed behind them and locked. They stood there in the hallway discussing what they should take with them. As they were talking.. a familiar face approached them.
Errter: Hi guys.
D'Wook was visibly angry. But for some reason he could not bring it upon himself to leap forward and knock the snot out of Errter.
Turk: Wait, aren't you supposed to be stripped of rank and on kitchen detail?
Errter: Well.. I’ve done my time and I’ve been reinstated.
D'Wook: You could have gotten us killed back on Hoth, man.
Errter: Look I’m sorry. That situation was hopeless. I probably should have stayed with you guys but I just had to get out of there.
D'Wook: Hopeless? You wanna see hopless? Lemme at him!
Errter took a step back.
Errter: Well it seems like you want revenge... and I’ve got an opportunity for you to get it. Me and the rest of the Betas have a combat training exercise against the Gammas right now, but they all got food poisoning and had to cancel. We need an opponent. Privates Packett, Woolworth, Giant, Safeway, Peoples, Highs, Diskor and the others are all counting on me to find another team to battle with... or else we’ll be disqualified from the tournament.
(Note: Since Errter is named after Errter's Market in Silver Spring, MD, naturally the rest of the Betas are named after other stores that were locally based grocery or pharmacy chains or mom and pops, many on the same street. The stores names were:
1. Packett's Pharmacy, which had a lot more than just medicine. I think it might have been possible to buy lawn furnature there at one point.
2. Woolworth's, which I think was a nationwide department store chain, but the only one I had ever been to was the one in Silver Spring. It had a lot of expensive electronics like boom boxes from what I remember.
3. Giant Food, the main DC area grocery store chain. It's since merged with other chains and uses the same branding as Stop & Shop in New York, and probably with other chains elsewhere.
4. Safeway, the other grocery store chain. It's now nationwide but was at the time just a DC thing.
5. People's Drug, the DC area's drug store chain. They had a jingle "Your neighborhood drug store... People's Drug." When Turk's player worked there they were acquired by CVS and rebranded.
6. High's Dairy, per the name their main product was probably milk, but the stores were seen as an alternative to 7-11.
7. Diskor, a mom and pop Korean market that was doing well until eventually the big Korean-American grocery chains set up shop in the metropolitan area. I do recall when Lotte Shikpum opened up in Rockville, like a 25-40 minute drive away, Diskor was put out of business. I am sure it had the same effect on many other smalltime Korean markets. Between Lotte, Korean Korner and later Hanareum ... currently known as H-Mart, mom and pops and their local personal flavor are all gone. Diskor had everything you could want! Toys, candy, ginseng tonics, bootleg video tapes of Korean TV available in betamax format. It was awesome!
Well enough of all that. Let's get back to our story)
Errter: We’re in first place! Undefeated! It’d be a real shame if we had to hang it up when lesser teams advance. Whaddaya say?
Turk: So.. we can shoot at you with our blasters? I'm in!
Errter: No, we’re not using live ammo. It’s harmless lasers. We’re fighting in an obstacle course and we have these sensors on our helmets and belts.
Delta team agreed and followed Errter and the Betas into the quasi futuristic obstacle course. The Betas were all wearing green helmets and the Deltas put on red helmets.
They got into position.
(Note: Yes... this is Photon. As you have probably guessed by now, this game is all about 1980s nostalgia. Photon came to our city in the early 1990s, but it's still very much an '80s thing. I wasn't sure how many of us at the table had actually played Photon, but I knew a few of us did, because we played it together more than 30 years ago. It was fun... but stinky. Anyway, I put this battle here because when I had planned everything out for this session I realized there was no combat. I didn't want to do another Tusken Raider battle later on, because we've done that already. So I thought it might be nice to battle another Rebel team.)
So they all started shooting at the Betas, but noticed that when shooting one of them the friendly fire sound was playing. Except for Turk, who kept shooting Betas and getting friendly fires.
Turk: I'm cross logged.
Lo'Sar: What does that mean?
Turk: My helmet is red but I'm registered as being on the green team. One of their players is cross logged too.
Lo'Sar: How do you know?
Turk: Shoot me.
Lo'Sar shot Turk. He got the sound for hitting an enemy and the Deltas' score increased by 100 points.
Lo'Sar: Those cheaters.
Turk: Nah, usually it's the arena admin that do this as a joke.
Lo'Sar shot Turk again. He looked up at the screen to again confirm that he got points.
Lo'Sar: Hey I have an idea. Everyone gather around Turk and let's just shoot him.
Hal: But won't that be cheating?
Ertter: Hey! Someone's cross logged! Who is it?
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| So here's a picture of Pvt. Errter wearing his Photon gear. In actuality it is Tom Hanks from the 1988 movie Big. He's using the home version of Photon which did not have the big bulky helmets and the excessively heavy battery belts that the arena version did. Also the home version probably smelled a lot better. (Note: You know what? let's talk about that. See, I get that it was the '80s and the tech for a laser tag game was still experimental, but they had to know that running around in a not well ventilated room with like 40 pounds of equipment, including a heavy helmet that you have to strap onto your head is going to cause a lot of sweat. A lot of that sweat will be absorbed by the helmet's padding. The design therefore lends itself to smelling like rotten body odor of hundreds of previous users. In my life I've never really smelled anything quite as bad until college, when one of the kids on the same floor of my dorm was on the ice hockey team and would air out his equipment in the hallway. Hockey players and their adjacent people know. And so do former patrons of Photon arenas. All that said, in a galaxy far far away I'd like to think they solved this problem, but given that this is a lived in universe with "wonderful new smells" being discovered. I'll bet this version of Photon also stunk worse than matted Wookiee fur.) |
Errter: It's Pvt. Packett!
Lo'Sar: See look they've figured it out. Just trust me. Everyone shoot Turk! Eventually the game devolved into the Betas shooting Packett repeatedly and the Deltas shooting Turk. When it was all said and done, the Deltas were victorious.
Errter: Ah nuts. We lost.
D'Wook: There was no honor in this victory. We merely exploited a glitch in the system.
Errter: Well it looks like you're gonna advance to tomorrow's semifinals.
Vero: We can't make it we've got a mission.. I mean.. uh.. extended shore leave starting tomorrow.
Errter: Oh... so can you forfeit the match we just played? That way we'll advance.
Vero: Yeah ok. Sure.
Errter: Alright boys we're back in business! The Betas bounce back, Baby!
Awkward silence...
Gonner: I’ll go get the ship ready. You all go gather everything you need and meet me in three hours.
Delta team went their separate ways, gathering all the equipment and weapons and other things they might need for their .. um.. shore leave.
Vero was walking down the hallway toward the armory to get parts for one of her explosive concoctions. From behind a voice called out.
Voice: Major Morelock...
Vero turned around. It was Leia.
Vero: Your highness.
Leia: Please, there's no need to call me that anymore.
Vero: Well how may I be of service?
Leia: I need a favor. Word has it that the Silverlight will be erhm "out of commission for maintenance" over the next few days.
Vero: Indeed.
Leia: Well... I think three more passengers and two more droids also need to “help” with that maintenance, if you catch my meaning...
Vero: Loud and clear.
Leia: The anonymous passengers and their droids will not appear in the hangar bay when it is time to not go anywhere. You'll probably be relaxing in your quarters at around that time.
Vero: Well then I'll expect to not receive them.
Leia: Well then ... I guess they're looking forward to going... nowhere.
Vero: And, we look forward to ... remaining in our quarters tonight.
Later in the Hangar Bay... in front of the Silverlight... Everyone was gathered.
Gonner: Okay so the ship is ready to go... I’ve plotted the course and it’ll take only six hours to get to Tatooine. Everyone get on board and let’s go....
Just then, Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca, Leia, C3P0 and R2D2 stepped into the cargo bay and approached.
Leia: Thanks for doing this guys.
Chewie gave D’Wook a low five.
Chewie: Roooar...
D'Wook: Roooar yourself.
Chewie: Roar roar roar (laugh)
Luke: Hal... you were gone a long time! How is Master Yoda?
Hal: Well, interesting thing.. even though we were gone for a year, We actually didn't spend that much time with him... because we actually time traveled to...
Luke: You know what? Why don’t you tell me more about it on board.
Everyone boarded the Silverlight.
Once in space Leia explains that they are on a secret mission to rescue Han Solo and they just needed someone to take them to Tatooine. It's not an official Rebel mission so they are on their own, just like the Deltas. Mothma suggested they go together.
Leia: I should have thought of this beforehand, but my face is so recognizable. (To Losar T’an) Can I ask you a favor, kind sir?
Lo'Sar Tan: Sure.
Leia: Can I borrow your armor? I’ll return it when my covert mission is complete. I’d tell you more about the plan, but since what we’re doing has to be off the books, it’s probably better that you don’t know.
Six hours later they landed on Tatooine.
(Note: and the landing section is taken out of the Tatooine Manhunt module. So the first part of the module has you on a neutral space station trying to meet a Rebel operative, only to find her dead at the hands of the main antagonist. I just skipped that part because I simply attached the antagonist to the backstories of Soan and Lo'Sar.)
In docking bay 94, a Toydarian customs official named Lotto told them that in addition to the docking fee, he would provide a special landing pass for 7 days in exchange for a certain number of credits. This landing pass was not mandatory, but he hinted that the docking bay is... often raided by thieves. And with a special landing pass would ... ensure that the ship would be more or less in the same state as it is now. More or less.
Soan handed Lotto a wad of credits.
Lotto: I think your ship will be.. safe eh?
Leia: Thanks for the lift.
Luke: I never thought I’d see this place again. Well.. welcome home I guess.
Chewie: Roooooar...
C3P0: Master Luke... why have you decided to come back to this wretched place? Couldn’t you have left us out of it?
R2: Boob beep boop.
Leia: Alright... if all goes to plan we should be able to just take the Falcon when we’re done here. Now Luke... about this plan of yours... I’m not sure you’ve thought this through. I mean, why is it that we all sneak in one by one?
Luke: You’re going to have to trust me on this one, Leia. I’ve got it all figured out...
Their voices tailed off as they left the docking area.
Grundle noticed a poster on the wall of the docking bay for a series of Max Rebo Band concerts with tour dates.
Anchorhead was two days ago. Mos Epsa was yesterday. Today’s show is at Jabba’s Palace, and tomorrow’s is at the Mos Eisley Cantina. There is also a piece of paper saying the final two dates are cancelled due to the band catching a Jawa virus and having to be hospitalized.
Soan pulled out an old comlink and immediately called up her ex-lover/loanshark, Jodo Kast.
The hologram showed a man wearing Mandalorian armor. The helmet was black and green and the body was oddly green and yellow.
Lo'Sar recognized the helmet. It had once belonged to him.
Jodo: Soan... you’re here. I’d come meet you but my crew and I are on a really important bounty hunt. So here’s how this is gonna work. You send me the money. You get Oola and we call it even.
Lo'Sar recognized Jodo's voice. It was that of his ex partner on the Silverlight, Ty Lenol. He put two and two together. Jodo WAS Ty Lenol.
Lo'Sar: (whispering) Hey.. I know that guy.
Jodo: ...and if you’re on planet when me and the boys are done what we’re doing, maybe I can meet up with you once again for old times sake.
Soan: Um... no. ... Just tell me where to send the money and I'll pick up Oola and be on my way.
Jodo: Yeah well, it was worth a shot. Anyway we have a deal right? You give me the funds, I tell you where she is...
Soan: Wait a minute... she's not with you?
Jodo: No... she’s not currently with us.
Soan: You were supposed to keep her safe. That was our agreement!
Jodo: Things change, baby. I tried keeping her around with us, but let's just say between the two of you, you got all the combat skills. Oola as my collateral has to be worth it to me, so she needs to make some cash. Otherwise it's a bum deal. So that's why I've been renting her out.
Soan's angry vein began to pop out of her forehead.
Soan: You've been.. renting her out?
Jodo: It's just dancing babe, nothing sketch. Trust me.
Soan: If she as so much as a single scar or bruise or even a paper cut on her .... I will find you and I'll start slicing things!
Jodo: Ah, there's my girl. If you’re in Mos Eisley, the bank will let you transfer the credits off the books, if you bribe the teller. You could also do it with those hackers on the street, but I don’t really trust them. I'm kind of well known so either method should be capable of getting it to me. I'll call you once the funds are transferred. Jodo out.
Soan looked very visibly pissed.
She exited the docking bay. Outside there was a post with a map of the city. She began searching for the bank.
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| You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy... Um... dude, this is Delta Team we're talking about. They ARE scum and villainy. |
There were several financial institutions according to the map. Mos Eisley Savings and Loan... Nal Hutta Fastloan... and “Checks Cashed”
Soan decided the first seemed the most reputable so she marched straight there. The rest of the team went their separate ways for a bit, agreeing to meet up again once Soan's bank business was finished. Grundle and Hal decided to accompany her in the bank, just in case.
On the way to the bank they passed the medical center. There were crowds of Max Rebo fans holding banners and urging the band to get well.
Soan marched through the crowd, getting angrier and angrier with each step, until finally she was inside the bank.
Teller: Next!
Soan: Hi.. I'd like to transfer some money to my business associate.
Teller: Do you have an account with us?
Soan: No.
Teller: Well... if you make a deposit today of at least 10,000 credits, we’ll give you a .3 percent bonus to your opening balance. Are you interested?
Soan. No. I have the cash. I just want to transfer it into the account of my business associate.
Teller: Well if you’re not interested in opening an account then you have no business here... NEXT!!!
Soan slipped the teller a huge wad of credits.
Soan: Look... this is really important.
Teller: Oh... well then excuse me for my hastiness. Will you accompany me into my office?
The teller entered the office and pushed a button that lowered blinds on all the windows. After Soan, Hal and Grundle entered, the door closed behind them.
Teller: So... How much money do we need to clean?
Soan: 100,000 credits.
Teller: And who is this for?
Soan: Jodo Kast.
Teller: Ha! That loser? He’s a charlatan. He walks around in Mandalorian Armor and people mistake him for Boba Fett. He cruises around off someone else’s reputation.
Soan: ...
Teller: Aight, so 110,000 credits. 5,000 for me.... This money will shuttle around four different accounts... I’ll fudge the transfer dates, and it will appear in Jodo Kast’s account instantly, as returning an overpayment. Totally untraceable.
Soan: Wait.. I said only 100,000.
Teller: Look you want this done or not? You're transferring 110,000 credits, right?
Soan: Sigh... yeah ok...
She forked over the cash.
Teller: Alright..
She made a few swipes on the keyboard, opened up a briefcase and pulled out a severed hand, placed it on a biometric pad, and clicked confirm to make the transfer go through.
Teller: And that’s done...
As soon as the teller said that, Soan’s comlink rang.
Jodo Kast: Okay. Got the cash. ... Oola is dancing at the palace of Jabba the Hutt. That’s a hard place to get into... but I hear they are always dying for famous musical acts to play for them. Technically the gig goes through the weekend, so you could just wait for her, but if you need to get her out today, you'll have to figure out how to get inside.
Hal: Yeah.. no... so we're just gonna wait for her then right?
Grundle: Trust me ... you do NOT want to go there. Or ... at least ... I sure don't.
Soan: Jodo says we can get in if we pose as musicians.And you ARE a musician.
Grundle: Look Soan. I like you, I really do. But Jabba is going to remember us. He fed us to the Sarlaac after all. We are NOT going back there.
Teller: If all our business is done, I think I’d rather not hear this conversation. Maybe you want to step out of my office.
The party exited the office and continued their conversation, when ...
Sy Snootles and Max Rebo walked into the bank. Grundle could overhear them muttering to each other that Jabba is really unhappy that they won’t be playing today and they need to pay him off or else they are gonna be in big trouble.
Sy: Man.. if only the rest of our band wasn’t sick...
Max: Well too late now. We gotta figure out how we’re gonna pay off Jabba.
Sy: If only we knew some local musicians that we could recruit. We could make our performance with Jabba and he’d be none the wiser.
Grundle's ears perked up.
Max: I think they would know we were faking it. Besides where else are we gonna find those backup singers? We have a Twilek, a Rodian and a Half human and they all have to be eye candy. People know that. Maybe the rest of the band members can be out of the spotlight but fans need to be oogling our backup singers.
The rest of Delta Team entered the bank.
Sy: I’m just saying. We could even find a male Rodian and put him in makeup. Nobody would know the difference!
Max: Anyway back to more practical matters. IF we’re gonna have any shot at getting this loan, we’ll need collateral. Are we gonna put up our tour ship?
Sy: But then we’ll be stuck here! We’ll have to busk on the streets for years to pay this off.
Max: Man.. if only there was some way we could play at Jabba’s palace today...
Soan: Erhrhrhm... sorry.. did you say you needed a Twilek, a Rodian, and a near human? And you can get us into Jabba's palace?
Sy's looked around at the two ladies of Delta Team, and one of the Jeegns.
Max: No.. come on.. She's purple, Sy! And we need a half human.
Sy: Makeup can fix anything.
Sy whipped out her communicator and made some calls back to the tour ship.
Max: Now these two Rodians... one of you is gonna have to play the slitherhorn and the other is gonna wear sexy women's clothes and dance and sing and.... HOLY frijoles. YOU'RE BOTH JEEGN ZTUNGLES!
Jeegn 1: Yeah we get that alot.
Sy: And Grundle Chanken ... wow.. Dude.. we are so set. If you all will follow me to our tour ship, we'll take care of everything.
Over the next few hours Delta Team underwent extensive makeup. They each now resembled someone in the Max Reebo band more or less. Except Grundle, who was operating a hand puppet from under a sheet and playing the harmonica at the same time.
Wipe to.... THE PALACE
As they were setting up they could see Oola chained to Jabba the Hutt. She looked very unhappy. Bib Fortuna was not there at the moment.
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| Oola in center, Background, from left to right: Grundle lying down and operating a strange mouth puppet, Sy Snootles, Soan in blue body paint and Jeegn in drag. |
As soon as Soan walked in, Oola perked up at the sight of another Twi’lek. But she immediate recognized Soan in her terrible disguise.
She began moving her lekku (head tails) to and fro.
(Note: Most people probably don't know this, but Twi'lek have a special sign language using their lekku, which they can use to communicate secretly with other Twi'lek. In this way, Soan and Oola were able to have an entire conversation while Oola was dancing and Soan was singing.
 |
| It's Soan painted blue. Honest! |
Oola: Sis? Is that you?
Soan: Yeah. I'm gettin' you outta here.
Oola: Why so blue?
Soan: Haha.
Oola: Since when are you a backup singer in a band?
Soan: I couldv'e waited 'till the end of the weekend but I needed to get you out of here now. I paid Jodo off so now you're free!
Oola: Really? That's so great. Oh.. well who are these guys you're with? Obviously not really regular members of the Max Rebo Band. They sound more like Ice Pirates.
Soan: ...
Oola: Shut up... They're the ICE PIRATES?
Soan pointed to the two Jeegns and the two Grundles in disguise.
Oola: Far out.
Soan: Yeah so after this song, let's bounce.
Oola: Well I have to finish out the day here and then I guess I am free to go. Glad you’re here, Jodo wouldn’t have picked me up for another three days. I’d have to stay chained to this... thing. BTW he stinks.
Soan: I believe you.
Oola: Jodo has been sending me alone to really seedy places lately. He wasn’t doing that originally. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight the first two years. But then he said I need to start earning my keep. I kept reminding him of the agreement he made with you, but he says he’s sure I’ll be safe. But this gig is the scariest situation I’ve been in. Chained to this gross slug who is a gangster crime lord and could kill me if I sneeze and nothing would happen to him because he owns the whole town!
Soan: Well that comes to an end now. You'll never have to see Jodo again once we get you out of here.
Oola: Anyway, on to lighter things.. I’ve been thinking about what to do when i’m free. Do you still have your shop on that Imperial ship?
Soan: No. The Subjugator blew up.
Oola: So you joined your favorite rock band after losing your shop? And you're pretending to be in another band? Something just doesn't add up.
Soan: Don't tell anyone. But the Ice Pirates are actually Delta Team, an undercover special ops unit with the Rebellion.
Oola: So you're a traitor then!
Soan: Hey.. these guys came into my shop and told me the Empire was planning to blow the entire ship sky high with me and Maki in it. So it was either join them or die. Besides. it turns out they're the good guys anyway. Trust me. The Empire is evil.
Oola: They must be paying you more.
Soan: Well, acutally no. But I'm so wealthy from my illicit dealings on the Subjugator that money kind of isn't really an object for me at all. Once the Empire is crushed for good, I'm going to buy our parents' home on Ryloth and retire.
Oola: You mean if the Rebels win.
Soan: We're gonna win. You see that doofus over there trying and failing to play that oboe looking thing in the terrible Bith costume?
Oola: Yeah?
Soan: He's a Jedi. There's another Jedi with the Rebels too. His name is Luke. He took out the Death Star apparently.
Oola: Yeah.. I heard about him. Well do you think there's a place for me in the Rebellion too?
Soan: Consider yourself recruited.
Oola: Well that's great.. and guess what? Jodo is doing a job for the Empire. Him and the boys are hunting down some kind of legendary clone wars hero who rumor has it faked his death and was living in hiding here on Tatooine. His name is Adar Talon and the Empire put a huge bounty on him because they fear he will join the Rebels. If he is really alive he could really help the Rebs! We have to get to him first!
Soan: We have to return to the fleet in a week. If we can get to Adar Talon before then and bring him into the fold, maybe he can help the Rebels plan an attack on the second Death Star.
Oola: SECOND?
Soan: Yes. It's a long story. But trust me. This one is even bigger.
Oola: How terrible! Oh wait it looks like the song is over. Hey.. Let’s play something more upbeat.
And play something more upbeat they did.
(Note: Watch the video and try to see if you can spot the members of Delta Team in disguise)
The session ended just as Oola was fed to the rancor.
Soan became enraged. She did her best not to blow her cover, but made a promise to herself that before she does anything else on Tatooine... Jabba would die. In fact. He was already dead. Once Soan decides your number is up, you're already gone. Even though she was stricken with indescribable grief, she cracked a little smile... because thoughts of revenge against Jodo Kast consumed her very consciousness.
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| Oh, it's ON! |
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