Session XIV: WINNERS AND LOSERS

 Opening Crawl: 

As the Silverlight is being repaired, its crew has been spending the last week on asteroid 7785 in the Graveyard of Alderaan, as guests of “King” Cecil Organa, the last member of Alderaan’s royal bloodline*. 

What was once the ruins of the royal palace has been masterfully restored and now shimmers brightly as the “New Alderaan Casino and Resort.”

Cecil, as braggadocious as he is, has been a generous host, providing the crew with the resort’s best accommodations, and wining and dining them on a nightly basis, to the point that maybe he is being not just nice... but too nice. 

This is apparently what Alderaan Palace looks like. So imagine it with a casino in there somewhere.

In between sessions, L1-NK and Golden Wheels reverted to their droid bodies. CT-12 and CT-16, meanwhile, decided to join the rebel alliance and were helping Dr. Blissex make repairs to the Silverlight.

The session opened up with Cecil showing the party a tour of the museum, which serves as a sort of front for the business to give it nonprofit status.

Cecil: And here is the last exhibit of the museum tour, our section on galactic history!

As they looked around the room they could see exhibits of the various clone wars battle droids, a section on Jedi, a section on Alderaan military uniforms, various models of Trade Federation and Galactic Republic capital ships.

Cecil: And this is particularly why I’ve brought you here... As you can see, my section on Jedi is, well, shall we say, incomplete.

The exhibit contained the repurposed hologram projectors from the palace ruins (from the Graveyard of Alderaan module that we ran in sessions 4-6) showing an approximation of what appeared to be the Jedi council as it was prior to its fall.

Holograms of the various Jedi on the council were standing in poses. There were several humans, several different aliens, and one gigantic imposing figure with green skin, pointy ears, flowing hair, and rippling muscles, towering over them all.

Make me angry, do not. When angry I am, like me you would not.

Each statue had a button that visitors could press to learn more about them.

Immediately the party pressed the button in front of the hulking green alien with the pointy ears, flowing hair and rippling muscles.

It began to speak.

“Yoda I am, the strongest and most powerful of the Jedi I was, also one of the first. Unrivaled, my skill with the lightsaber was, but judge me by my intimidating size, do not. For greater than my strength and speed was my ability to connect with the force. A strong ally it is. At the Jedi temple, many younglings I taught in the ways of the force since the beginning of the Republic. White my hair has become with old age. (He flexed a rippling green bicep) But when 9,999 years you reach... look as good you will not. Alive I would still be today if killed off by the Emperor’s royal guard I had not been. Try to finish what Master Windu started, I did, but successful, I was not. 

(Editor’s note: Yoda’s reputation must have been the stuff of legend, so I figured that people who never saw him would hardly believe that he was the frail, unimposing, tiny, weak looking hermit we are introduced to in the Empire Strikes Back. A few of the party thought this depiction was funny and understood what I was going for. But I think it went over some of their heads.) 

They pushed the other buttons as well.

“I am Jedi Master Mace Windu, the leader of the Jedi council. During the clone wars I fought in many battles, destroyed thousands upon thousands of separatist droid soldiers and sought to keep the Republic in one piece. But as master Yoda has always said, wars do not make one great. This is why I was known to meditate daily, in an effort to achieve enlightenment in the ways of the force. I died believing I was fighting tyranny but my failed attempt to overthrow Chancellor Palpatine and install myself as the leader of the Republic resulted in the creation of the Empire, which is the worst tyranny the galaxy has ever seen.”

“Hello there. I am Jedi Master Obi-wan Kenobi, General during the clone wars who fought in many battles defending the Galactic Republic from the Separatist onslaught. Perhaps my finest moment was when I and my protege Anakin Skywalker rescued Chancellor Palpatine from the clutches of the evil Count Dooku, a Dark Lord of the Sith. Anakin and I are believed to have been killed at the end of the clone wars during the coup, but rumors of my survival suggest I may be still alive. Shh, don’t tell anyone!”

(Editors note: History is often told by whomever has power, and I tried to imagine how the stories of Yoda, Mace Windu, and Obi-wan Kenonbi might be according to official empire propaganda. Keep in mind, it’s only been 22 years since the founding of the Empire at this point, which I think is a big mistake in the telling of this story. If it had been like 40 years then that gives the Empire enough time to get its narrative taught to more than one generation, and to purge any intellectuals that would say otherwise. Also take into account that unmasked Vader in Return of the Jedi is played by Sebastian Shaw, who was 78 at the time. Granted, Vader’s injuries and reliance on the dark side of the force would have advanced his age a bit, but if we are going by the official canon, then Anakin was 22 when Luke was born, meaning he is 45 at the time of Return of the Jedi. That just seems a bit off to me, even if we suggest that Shaw looks young for his age. It makes more sense if Anakin sired Luke in his 40’s and died in his 60s, looking like he was in his 70s due to the effects of the dark side. But I guess we’re going with official canon as far as the movies are concerned and say that the Empire’s public education system is just extremely efficient. Anyway, back to Cecil and his museum...) 

The party pushed more buttons and nothing happened. 

Cecil: Ah, their monologues are coming in next week. We’re still looking for good voice actors.

(Editors note: Nothing happened because the gamemaster did not prepare responses for Kit Fisto and Ki Adi Mundi or Bariss Orifee or whomever else was on the council. I at least gave you Mace, so be content with that, prequel lovers....)

Cecil: as you can see we’ve got a great approximation of who the Jedi were, but we need a special artifact that would bring this section all together.

Hal said nothing.

Cecil:  Perhaps something from their time...

Hal said nothing.

Cecil: Perhaps a lightsaber...

Hal said nothing.

Cecil: It would really make this exhibit amazing if we had something like Mace Windu’s legendary purple lightsaber, but who knows where we could ever find that?

Hal took out one of his three lightsabers and handed it to Cecil.

Cecil: Wow! This is perfect! Now our Jedi section is complete!!!

Yes. It is in fact the genuine article. What? There's an obscure book that says someone ventured to the Coruscant surface to go collect it? Didn't happen in a movie so LALALALALALA didn't hear that!

Hal: Well wait a minute. How can I be assured that this will be in safe hands? What’s in it for me?

Cecil: Oh.. well as you recall, I’m going to allow you all to use this asteroid as a base of operations, a sort of home away from home. I’m also going to keep and feed your flutterplume, provide you with intel from a network of Alderaanian spies that come through often, and my people have repaired your ship to Dr. Blissex’s specifications. 

Hal: Well, what if I need it back?

Cecil: Hmm, well, I suppose we could put up a plaque that says you loaned it to us, and you can take it back whenever you want.

Hal: (begrudginly) Well, okay.

Cecil: Can I ask where you found this?

Hal: Oh it was in the Cloud City museum storage and...

Cecil: (covering ears) Lalalalalala... didn’t hear that lalalala... Now if you’ll join me in the banquet chamber, dinner will be served shortly.

They walked through the immaculately restored palatial corridors with ornate trimmings and marble floors. Everything in this palace was as it was when they went through it as ruins, only it has all been fixed.

They emerged from one hallway onto a grand balcony overlooking the graveyard. Table settings with more forks and spoons than they could count were at each seat, and behind each seat stood a personal servant droid.

They all sat down...

Vero (as an NPC because her player was not present) asked Cecil how he has been able to afford everything, especially considering Princess Leia has been using what remains of the offshore Alderanian royal fortune to fund the rebellion.

Cecil: Well.. we have our ways... The casino is a large part of it.

That explanation satisfied most of the party, but D’Wook and Turk had suspicions.

Turk: Well, it’s only been six months. This must have really cost a fortune, and there’s no way the casino could have been open until the restorations were complete.

Cecil: Well... we have a silent business partner. But don’t worry, they are reasonably legit and as long as we make our payments on time, everything will be fine.

D’Wook: (in Ewokese) Who is the silent business partner? It sounds like you might have engaged into some kind of dealing with the criminal underworld.

Cecil: You’re a sharp one, my little friend. But don’t worry these guys are mild, and they’re located so far away from here.

Turk: Well, as long as they aren’t as bad as Jabba.

Cecil: (unconvincingly) Jabba? Who’s that? Never heard of anyone named Jabba, and nope. I sure wouldn’t ever get into any dealings with him or any of his people on Tatooine.

The explanation satisfied Turk, but D’Wook was notably agitated, clearly aware that Cecil’s scent indicated that his body temperature had increased a bit, possibly as a result of stress hormones released into his bloodstream due to the party’s increased questioning.

Cecil: Well Turk.. it looks like the Goldenlight will be in ship shape in a day or two. My finest mechanics and your Dr. Blissex have been hard at work. 

Turk: Don’t you mean the Silverlight?

Cecil: Silverlight, Goldenlight, what’s the difference?

Nobody noticed, but mention of the Silverlight caused the chef to appear in the doorway leading from the kitchen, as he got a look at the party. 

(Editor’s note: The chef is a new player character joining the group!)

Introducing Lo'sar Tan!

Cecil: Have a look at the menu to see what my master Chef Lo’sar Tan has served up today!

Coming from the kitchen area was a massive explosion. Lo’Sar Tan ran back into the kitchen and managed to rescue the badly burned sous chef. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the walk-in fridge door open and an armored figure dash out the back door leading to the loading area.

The sous chef had been badly burned, so Lo’sar Tan carried him to the dining area.

Sous Chef to Cecil: Your majesty... somebody set up us the bomb!

Two droids came to take the sous chef to get medical attention, when a viewscreen on the wall activated.

Droid: We get signal!

Turk: What?

Cecil: Main screen turn on.

It was the face of a Trandoshan.

Turk: It’s you! (Turk was uncertain if this had been among the Trandoshans that he clashed with before, but then again they all look alike, don’t they?)

Trandoshan: “How are you gentlemen! All your ship are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction”

Turk: “What you say?”

Trandoshan: “You have no chance to survive make your time! HA HA HA HA ....”

(Editor’s note: This should give you an idea of the age of this group.)

An aide ran to the table from the banquet hall’s entrance..

“Your Majesty... the hangar. They just landed and they are trying to take all the luxury ships!”

The party along with Lo’sar Tan made their way to the hangar, and saw 10 Trandoshans keeping guard while some pirate looking aliens entered the various luxury ships labeled with the logo of the New Alderaan Casino and Resort.

There was a big firefight, which included Lo’sar Tan whacking Trandoshans with his special frypan and stabbing them with his kitchen knife.

As the fight went on, ship after luxury ship took off and exited the hangar.

During the fight, GoldenWheels took cover inside the Silverlight, closing the cargo bay as he boarded. Blissex and the clones were in there, so engaged in their work that they did not notice what was going on outside. The cockpit had been soundproofed and they were on their backs underneath panels.

GoldenWheels began pushing buttons trying to shoot the Trandoshans with the ship’s weapons. Blissex wheeled out from under a panel. 

Blissex: Hey! Stop that! don’t push anything!

Everyone fighting outside saw the Silverlight disappear out of the corner of their eyes.

Needa was apparently wrong... about a great many things...

Golden Wheels pushed it several more times and the ship became visible and invisible several more times, when finally Blissex grabbed his hand to make him stop!  Golden Wheels pointed out the window to the fighting going on outside and Blissex explained that the ship’s weapons were currently offline. The clones grabbed their guns and ran out to join the fray.

By the time they were outside, 9 of the 10 Trandoshans had been subdued, but all the luxury ships were at that point gone.

Turk ran over to where the Silverlight used to be. He could reach his hand out and feel it, but he couldn’t see it. He knocked on the invisible hull with the butt of his blaster rifle and it made a banging sound. 

Turk: Hello!!!!

The ship materialized and the cargo bay opened. Blissex stepped out, having grabbed Golden Wheels by the protocol droid head’s earlobe.. Or well its earlobe would be if it were a human head.

Blissex: Will you stop that?

Golden Wheels: Sorry...

Turk: What’s going on? Why can my ship disappear?

Blissex: See, we had these excess kyber crystals that didn’t get dumped on our journey back and blah blah technobabble tachyon particles warp nacelle blah blah blah LaForgeism blah blah phase variance! Blah blah... but it consumes a lot of energy to stay cloaked for long periods of time so use it sparingly.

Turk looked over to the monitor on the wall of the cargo bay, which showed that the ship’s security camera had performed facial recognition on the whole party, identifying each as crewmembers. It showed Cecil’s profile, listing him as unknown. Finally it showed Lo’Sar Tan’s profile photo, listing him as “Captain.”

Turk asked Lo’Sar why his ship would say that Lo’Sar was captain.

Lo’Sar: That’s because it’s my ship.

Turk: No it isn’t. I bought it.. Used.

Lo’Sar: It was stolen from me. Here I’ll prove it.

Lo’Sar Tan entered the Silverlight and fiddled around with a loose screw on the wall in one of the corridors. A wall panel opened up revealing a full suit of Mandalorian armor. Lo’Sar put it on.

Grundle: Aww, well now he’s invincible...

L1-NK began beeping, shining a light on Lo’Sar’s thigh. In small print it said “Made in Corellia.” Lo’Sar looked down at his own thigh, read the small print, and looked back at his secret storage place. There was a post it note that said “Gotcha! -Ty”

Whomever this is, I am not knocking your cardboard crafting skills. It's just I want to give the reader an idea of what it looked like, and most cosplayers do Mandalorians VERY VERY well.

Lo’Sar took off his helmet and threw it on the ground. It cracked. His actual armor had been replaced with a costume replica and he was angry. He explained to the party that about 10 years ago, he and his rival Ty’Len Ol went to collect a bounty from a client on Corellia, and they went out for a night on the town. 

The next morning he woke up with a hangover, with all his money stolen, and his ship was gone. He had owed money to an investor, and had planned to pay him back after collecting his share of the bounty.

Now he had to work off his debt, by relying on his cooking skills. He started out on a small fast food joint in the seedy side of town, and it became so successful that he was hired away to work at a chain family restaurant that also became wildly successful. This kept happening until he was poached away to work at Corellia’s finest luxury restaurant. 

Cecil caught notice during his many visits and when the opportunity came to open the New Alderaan Casino and Resort, he purchased Lo’Sar’s contract.

Turk: Oh.. well.. It’s still my ship.

Lo’Sar. Okay but there are things about it I know that you don’t. 

Cecil: Well, its going to take a while to repair the restaurant, so why don’t you go with them and settle your score before you return...

Just then an advisor entered the hangar and told Cecil that the customers were complaining because many of them had belongings on those ships, as they had taken a cruise to arrive at the asteroid and were planning to cruise back to the nearest starbase. Some were even planning to sue the resort. At any rate, simply paying for their rides home would dip into funds necessary to make their next *ehm* payment.

Cecil: I’ll have to make a few calls.

Cecil: To the rest of the group:  Alright.. I haven’t been completely honest with you... we’ve entered into an agreement with one... Jabba the Hutt, to finance this thing. And well, if I miss payments, he’ll own the whole place.

The party by then had tied up the last surviving Trandoshan and were prepared to question him.

D’Wook: Who are you and who do you work for?

The Trandoshan hocked a big lookie in D’Wook’s face.

D’Wook: Alright that’s it! 

He pulled out a particularly painful looking bladed weapon. 

D’Wook: Start talking or this is going up your cloaca!

Up my... what? Okay okay I'll talk!

Trandoshan: I don’t know anything. We were just hired to boost the ships.

D’Wook: Well you messed up, because this casino has Jabba the Hutt as an owner. You wouldn’t want to piss off Jabba the Hutt would ya? All you criminal lowlifes bow down to power and wealth and he’s got both.

Trandoshan: And who do you think hired us to boost the ship then?

D’Wook: See, that’s what you’re going to tell us!

The Trandoshan bit down hard and made a swallowing motion and began to foam at the mouth as his eyes glazed over.

All eyes looked at Cecil

D’Wook: You idiot! Jabba hired them to steal your ships so that you wouldn’t be able to make your next payment! Why don’t you have security here to prevent this kind of thing.

Cecil: Well... all the people taking refuge are Alderaanian, and, well, Alderaan is a peaceful planet...

D’Wook smacked his face.

Out of the corner of his eye, Golden Wheels noticed a poster for an event called “Robo Wars” He asked Cecil about that. 

Cecil: Oh that... yes, well in addition to a casino, we’ve got an arena. I know it’s illegal to have combat ready droids, but that’s one of the ways we can make money here. We’ll have to tighten our belts, but since we’re hosting Robo Wars, we’ll get 10% of all money wagered and that’ll be enough to pay for giving all our guests a ride home. To make enough money to pay off Jabba, we’ll have to enter the competition and win. But all my combat droids were on one of those ships...

If only we had a combat ready robot that could enter this thing...

All eyes looked at Golden Wheels.

(Wipe)

Several days later, Jabba’s majordomo Bib Fortuna arrived to attend Robo Wars, and to collect payment.

He approached Cecil and spoke in a mishmash of Basic and Huttese.

Male Twi'leks got the short end of the stick in the looks department.

Fortuna: Jabba heard the news of what happened here. He is much displeased. Considering you won’t be able to make the next payment, I’ll take the deed to this pitiful asteroid at the conclusion of Robo Wars... which we are entering by the way.

Cecil: Well not so fast. We’ve got our own little droid joining the tournament, and I’ve taken out a huge loan and wagered everything on him. If we win, not only will the asteroid be completely paid off, Jabba will actually owe ME money.

Fortuna laughed

Fortuna: This is going to be a huge payday for us. Let the games begin.

A montage of sorts began playing, with Bib Fortuna’s modified IG droid smashing the head of a Clone Wars-era Droideka. The crowd erupted in cheers.

Next scene: Golden Wheels picked up a modified Gonk droid, driving his fist through its chest as it exploded.

The crowd goes wild.

Next scene: The IG droid jumps up onto the Super Battle Droid and gets it in an armbar, ripping its arm off.

The crowd cheered enthusiastically.

Next scene: Six mouse droids did an elaborate transformation, forming the head, arms, body and legs of an upright walking droid of enormous strength. The combiner traded punches with Golden Wheels, then backed up a bit and met him with a flying kick. Golden Wheels jumped up into the air with his fist extended.

Golden Wheels: Shoryuken!

The combiner split into its constituent parts and that was that.

Created by GW's player. Such great photoshop skills!

Several more scenes featured the IG droid and Golden Wheels destroying their competition in the middle of one of the scenes, an advisor whispered something into Bib Fortuna’s ear and pointed at Turk, then Vero, then Jeegn and Grundle, and finally Hal and D’Wook. Bib nodded with each point. The IG droid and Golden Wheels continued breaking down robot after robot until the montage ended. 

They had both fought their way into the finals.

At the center of the arena stood the announcer, Bikal Muffer.

He introduced Golden Wheels and the IG droid using plenty of superlatives and rolling his rs in very unnatural ways.

Muffler: And now, for the thousands in attendance and the billions watching all over the galaxy. Ladies and gentlemen and members of genderless species, and nonbinary members of gendered species... from the New Alderaan Casino and Resort in the restored ruins of the palace of Alderaan. LLLLLLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!

The fight began and Golden Wheels took a position towards the edge of the ring, hoping to make the IG droid come to him. He would attempt to dodge and counterattack. 

As he backed himself into a corner the IG bot gave him a thumbs down, put up his dukes, and began to dance around the center of the ring a bit. He gestured his hands in the air to pump the crowd up. He began to shadow box in the center of the ring some more, and did a few cartwheels.

Golden Wheels was not budging, so IG came in with a feint, which caused Golden Wheels to flinch, and tagged him with a quick 1-2 combo.

Golden Wheels shook it off and pushed IG away to create some distance... only the push seemed to have worked much more effectively than it should have. IG went flying across the ring, bounced off the ropes, and its head fell off in a very unnatural way as smoke began to rise from his servos.

The crowd was silent. Something just didn’t seem right.

D’Wook noticed that Bib Fortuna was smiling. 

A referee bot came in, examined the wreckage, and plugged into Golden Wheels’ head. After some beeps and boops his eyes turned red. He shouted “PEMDAS detected”

The crowd began to boo....

Cecil Turned to Turk.... you’ve ruined me. How could you? Don’t you know that PEMDAS is a banned subroutine in robot combat fighting?

Turk: What? What is PEMDAS?

Cecil: Wait, you don’t know what PEMDAS is?

Turk: No... should I?

Cecil: Well. I’m sorry... it looks like I’ll have to “arrest” you. You’ll be stuck here for the next year and you have to attend some drug abuse classes. I’m gonna clear this all up. Lo’Sar, you go with them...


They spent the night in a luxury suite repurposed to be a jail cell. The next day they had their first class. 

They learned about what PEMDAS is. It is a subroutine which increases the speed and strength of droids by bypassing safety protocols. In other words it is like performance enhancing drugs in biological athletes in that it harms the body in the long term for short term gain. At the end of the class they had a test with many questions regarding PEMDAS and its effects on droid bodies.

The answer to every question was C) Tell a trusted adult.

Afterwards they were made to watch a series of awful public service announcements.

(Editor’s note: Robot fighting and robo steroids were all the idea of Golden Wheels’ player who must be learning about substance abuse at school. The rest of the group kind of groaned that this must mean that drug education classes are still as ineffective and out of touch as they were when we were in school in the 1980s. I had planned for this session to be the Battle of Hoth, and I have ideas for what to do after Hoth already, but he really wanted to put this thread in so that his character would have more to do and since I forced him to play a Fett clone for the past 5 sessions, I figured I’d humor him and delay Hoth by a month, otherwise we would not get to this for another 7 or 8 months. Turns out that not everyone can be there next month, so I need to have another session in July that’s pre-Hoth that I am working on now. That’s fine because I still need to have sessions that center on the backstories of Lo’Sar Tan and D’Wook, who despite being the most ruthless and capable warrior, has basically been tagging along in other people’s stories.)

The party returned to their suite/cell.

A hooded figure came to visit the cell.

Hall jumped up.. Thinking it was Far Far Stinks again...

It wasn’t. The figure removed the hood to reveal it was...just Cecil.

Cecil: Hey guys.. It’s me. I figured out what happened. It was Bib that was using PEMDAS on his droid, but he made it look like Golden Wheels was doing it in a deliberate attempt to besmirch my name so that Golden Wheels is disqualified and then I’ll owe Jabba so much money that I won’t ever be able to go near another civilized system again. So I’ve got a plan. But.. there’s a catch.

Hal: What’s the catch?

Cecil: Well, Bib Fortuna remembers you guys. He said you had some business dealings back on Tattooine. And I kind of.. Sort of.. Said that I’d turn you guys over to him as this month’s payment.

D’Wook immediately broke the leg off the ornate luxury chair and held it slightly below Cecil’s belt.

Cecil: But wait.. Hear me out. I came to ask you guys... would YOU be willing to fight in Robo Wars? Because we can bill it as this awesome event! Man vs. Machine. It’ll be a huge success and I’ll take out another huge loan and if you win, I’ll have enough money to pay him off, buy your freedom, and buy him out, and then you’ll be free! But there’s another catch...

Hal: (Angrily)What’s the catch?

Cecil: You won’t be allowed to use modern weaponry. It’ll be ancient swords and things like that.. I’m sorry, I know you’re probably not skilled with such archaic weapons, but it’s the best I could do... Lo’sar Tan will also join you.

Since the group had just spent six months on a medieval planet, they readily accepted.

The announcer introduced the droids... then introduced the men and their droid companions. Each brandishing their weapons from Willow World.. With Lo’Sar Tan wielding his kitchen knife and frypan. Among the droid team was a gigantic super-robot that towered over everyone.

The battle royale was long and epic, and it was clear that Bib Fortuna’s team was cheating, with all the droids hopped up on PEMDAS. But the men team came out victorious, with the crowd cheering with every hit that was scored.

Lo’Sar Tan was knocked out when two IG bots converged on his position and he could only block one with the frypan. Everyone else sustained minor injuries. But the giant robot remained. It smashed Golden Wheel’s legs.

The giant robot knocked out Jeegn, Grundle, Turk, L1, Vero, Hal and was about to stomp on D’Wook.

Golden Wheels came outta nowhere, in wheel mode, crashing into it at fantastic speed, causing it to fall over to the ground. GW picked up Jeegn’s axe and began cutting the giant bot to pieces, with the crowd oohing and ahhing with each swing.

GW began to scream as he hacked away at this thing, and even D’Wook backed away, worried about his little droid friend’s sanity.

The bot began making a beeping sound and D’Wook realized what was happening. He grabbed Golden Wheels and dove out of the way.

Kaboom! A fantastic explosion that scorched the remains of the big boy’s body. The crowd cheered!

Several of the IG droids in various injured states stood up and converged on D’Wook and GW’s position.

But the 30 minute round bell rang. Each side went to their corners.

Cecil motioned to test some of the fallen robots for PEMDAS.  Bib Fortuna whispered to an aide, who ran over to Bikal Muffer who announced that team bot was conceding the contest. 

(Editor’s note: This isn’t exactly how it happened in game. But the players give me creative licence to tell better stories with these writeups.. and this climactic against all-odds finish is much better than having the man team promptly wipe the floor with the robot team in about 4 rounds. This of course also means I’m gonna have to throw better challenges at them.)

Bib Fortuna stood up from his seat and headed toward the exit. He walked past Cecil, held his nose up high.

Bib Fortuna: Enjoy your dead rock of an asteroid and this pitiful hovel you call a palace. And don’t ever show your face on Tatooine.

He promptly left the arena.

The crowd erupted in applause, chanting Golden Wheels’ name...

End Credits.