Session XXVIII - Ground Zero

Hey there again! 

This next session ran VERY smoothly, mainly because I had NPCs lay out the plan for the players and they just executed it. Note.. with large groups, this is probably the way to go. Some may complain that this is more or less railroading, but look, I have always said that TTRPGs are "collective storytelling." Planning the story out in advance ensures that the story is better, and the players can add their own pieces to it through their characters. Yes, it means that certain results are pre-determined, but honestly it's how well you mask it to give the illusion of free will.

I know some people will say that this is still railroading and the game is playing us rather than the other way around, but the alternative, a sandbox approach, leads to just random aimless adventures that only work well if the GM is really creative on the spot or... they also only give the illusion of choice. Example.. the GM plans out a huge adventure, then asks whether the players want to go to sector a or sector b, (or sector f or z or theta.. whatever). No matter where they go, they will find the same unchartered planet and embark on the planned adventure.

I'm pretty straightforward in my method. I plan out interesting scenes for each player so that everyone gets a time to shine, and then figure out how to stitch them together, then I sprinkle in a few combats here and there.

Anyway let's get to this session.

It may be AI slop... but the prompt was "mean looking gangsters on Coruscant." The blaster bow is a nice touch.

Session XXVIII - Ground Zero

Explosions ring out in the night sky above one of the many platforms attached to mountainous skyscrapers that dominate the planet-wide skyline of the Imperial capital Coruscant. 

Though they had planned to break into the Imperial Palace, the “officially deceased” members of the Rebel Strike Force formerly known as Delta Team happened to cross paths with their comrade Vero Morelock, who is on the run after rescuing her five-year old daughter from some of the vilest gangsters in the Coruscanti underworld. 

Black-eyed, burned, bruised, bloody, and barely able to walk, Vero collapses from exhaustion as the Ewok warrior D’Wook (actually Hal Brunchkiler… it’s a long story) dives trident-first into the horde of the bossman’s hired muscle....

During the last session, Golden Wheels ran to Kaydell and transformed into the gold VW bug around her, speeding her away to safety. 

The fight with the gangsters played out with H'Wook, having jumped into the horde of gangsters, successfully dispatching one of them, but then getting stabbed in the gut by that guy with the big blade. He was mortally wounded. D'Hal, ever cognizant that it was happening to his own body, was not pleased. He also used the force in ways never before seen among this group, at one point crushing the genitalia of one gangster. 

Turk, ever the sharp shooter took out several of the gangsters with his new awesome rifle. In the middle of the battle several camera droids descended upon their location. Turk dispatched those as well.

Golden Wheels expressed his desire to just run over the gangsters, but he was strongly advised not to, considering he had a five-year-old passenger and might traumatize her and he might actually run over H'Wook.

Eventually they defeated the gangsters. They could hear sirens getting louder.

Ahsoka: Guys.. we’d better get out of here ... someone call for Spectre 2 to pick us up pronto!

Grundle made the call and Hera landed the cloaked Silverlight and picked everyone up.

Kaydell is kicking and screaming.

Golden Wheels tried to calm her down and that didn't work. 

H'Wook tried as well and it only made her scream more, but Soan spoke to her in a nice calm voice and she took her hand and boarded the Silverlight willingly.

L1 picked up the remains of Vero's broken body and pulled her on board.

(Note: So Vero's player missed yet another session, which kind of sucks because this whole side quest she did will have to be something that happened offscreen that he has to make up and tell us about it. It might have been fun for the whole group to help Vero sort this out, but at the same time, I like leaving it to mystery and letting him fill us in on what Vero did.)

L1 entered the ship and lay Vero on the floor. D'Hal waved his hands over her to try to heal her.

Kaydell: No! Leave her alone! She’s my friend!!!

Soan: He's only trying to heal her.

Kaydell: is she gonna be ok?

D'Hal: Well, she's not gonna die... at least not today.

Kaydell: can I go back home now?

Soan: Yeah.. that's gonna be a no.

Kaydell: She saved me from some bad guys. She said she was my auntie and she said she knew my mother and father. 

D'Hal: Well, that's technically NOT a lie... We know them too. In fact...

Vero: (faintly) cough...

Turk: She's alive!

Vero: Kaydell.... is she safe?

Soan: She's right here. You're both safe now. 

D'Hal: Yeah.. for now...

D'Hal also took time to heal H'Wook. When he touched his body, suddenly they were both shocked by electricity somehow. D'Hal found that he knew how to converse in perfect Ewokese again, while still being totally fluent in Basic. H'Wook, having been healed also found that he could now converse in perfect Basic again while still being totally fluent in Ewokese.

Edit: This now solves the problem once and for all. D'Wook, whoever is controlling his body, will now be totally fluent in Basic going forward.

D'Hal: Eeeeecha wawa!

H'Wook: Woah! I can speak again!

Ahsoka: Alright, we don't have time for this. Kaydell, why don't you stay here with your aunt and watch over her. The rest of you, I need to talk to you in the galley. 

The team members with players present joined Ahsoka in the galley.

Ahsoka: well this puts a bit of a wrench in our plans. We’re going to have to first get away from here as soon as possible. Turk, this is your ship. Why don’t you take the wheel?

Turk went to the cockpit and turned on the intercom so that he could hear the conversation in the galley.

Hera left the cockpit to join Ahsoka.

Ahsoka: General... 

Hera: Commander ...

Ahsoka: How would you go about this mission?

Hera: As a general I command thousands of troops, but this mission you are all on looks very much like what we in Spectre Cell used to do... only we never attempted to do anything as crazy as breaking into Palpatine’s living room. I think we’re going to have to divide into several teams to do what we’re trying to do. And Ahsoka.. You know this place better than we do... what’s the best way to get into the archives?

Ahsoka: The archives are towards the top of the palace.. Just below where the Jedi Council used to meet. I don’t think we can just walk in and take the turbolift though.

Hera: Is there another way in?

Ahsoka: There is. The rooftop has very large ventilation vents which we could sneak into... but unless we want to be mincemeat, we need to deactivate the ginormous fans.

Hera: That sounds like a job for some droids. Chopper! L1 and Golden Wheels, you’re going to have to pose as maintenance, go through the main entrance, and turn off the ventilation fans. But remember guys... we’re doing this STEALTHFULLY. Do you think you guys can handle that?

So next week are we gonna meet Rex? How about Dinn Djarin as a kid? What about the head of Count Dooku?

Ahsoka looked at Golden Wheels, giving him the stink eye, knowing that stealth is not his strong point.

Ahsoka: Stealth’s... not going to work... wait a minute Hal, D’Wook, whomever you are how good are you with the Jedi mind trick?

D’Hal: I did it once before...

Ahsoka: Great.. you and the droids need to walk in the front door, convince them that you’re maintenance. Then go shut down the fans. If I recall correctly, climate control is close to one of those huge conference rooms that senators used to use, Anyway, shut off those fans. Once we see that they’re off, we’ll go through the and sneak to the archives. We’ll look around for files on your condition. Then we’ll reenter the vent and go back up to the roof.

Hera: I’ll be waiting there to pick you up. After we get what we need, we need to get out fast, and the only way that can happen is if we have a big distraction. We need a team to rig these thermal detonators to explode on the platform located ... here ...  at exactly shall we say 6:03.. You should be done in the archives by then right? When all attention is on the explosion, I’ll land the ship here (a spot 50 meters away from the palace entrance) You all be waiting there and jump on board and we’ll zoom away and be back at the fleet in no time.

Soan: Yeah sounds like a great plan...

Soan's Player: (sarcastically) ...and I'm *soooooo sure that it will go perfectly without a hitch, because there's nothing unexpected that's going to happen to any of us...

GM: You've played this game before!!!!

Ahsoka... alright.. Who’s with me, and who’s on bomb detail? Please remember guys.. We need STEALTH!  No noisy blaster shooting. 

Hera: we have about an hour before we make our move. Please be ready.

The group decided that Grundle and Soan would work together with Ahsoka in the archives. That left H'Wook and Turk to go set up the bombs, and D'Hal and the droids to go pretend to be maintenance workers.

Knowing that he would need to talk his way into the palace, D'Hal picked up random tools from the Silverlight. He didn't bother to change any of his clothes, coming up with the idea that he'd say he was called at the last minute and had to come straight from a party.

Turk decided to wear his stormtrooper armor.

Hera: Alright, so here’s how this is going to work. I can’t land anywhere near the palace without you guys being seen when you exit. So I’m going to drop you on this moving mass transit transport. 

It was an open-air double decker repulsorlift bus. You guys get off at the nearest stop and do what you need to do. Then I’ll fly the archives team up to the roof.

They jumped onto the bus and were spotted by some tourists having materialized out of thin air.

Tourist: Woah! Holy smokes where did you come from?

D'Hal: STFU and keep taking pictures of scenery. 

The tourists were intimidated and said nothing more.

The maintenance and bomb teams got off at the proper stops and marched their way toward their locations.

We've all seen it. 

The cloaked Silverlight hovered over the roof of the temple. Ahsoka ascended through the top hatch, did a backflip off the Silverlight and landed without making a sound on the roof. 

She gestured up at Soan and Grundle.

Ahsoka: ‘Cmon!!!! 

Soan gracefully did a flip and a jump and a roll onto the roof.. making very little sound. 

Grundle jumped but he tripped. Ahsoka caught him with the force.

She pointed downward at the ventilation shaft and at the huge fans they'd need to slip through.

Meanwhile...

Turk and H'Wook encountered a few passers by on the way to the platform. 

They passed a beggar asking them for credits, both did not pay him much attention and kept moving.

They passed an evangelist wanting to proselytize to them about the Dim-U religion, which reveres the bantha species as gods. 

D'Hal made some remarks about how they are nowhere near Tatooine and if the guy wanted to be amongst the gods, he should go there and collect their poodoo.

The proselytizer said he already had some and offered to allow them to smell it to cleanse themselves.

Turk: No thanks.. maybe some other time!

(Note: This is setup for a future session where the party will encounter more followers of this religion.)

Turk and H'Wook arrived at the platform. It was a public park! There was a crowd of imperial officers in uniform, all of whom looked to be enjoying themselves at what looked like a company picnic. 

They had set up a stage and there was a band playing some really hoppin' tunes. There was also copious amounts of drinking. 

Above the stage was a banner: Victory at Hoth 501st Army senior officers' celebration. 

Stage Emcee: okay that was the Max Reebo band with their latest hit Lapti Nek! Give it up for them everyone!

Loud cheer. 

Emcee: Okay next we will begin our open mic show for this evening do we have any volunteers? 

None of the officers stepped forward. 

Emcee: Well maybe some of the catering staff? Anyone? If nobody steps to the mic we’ll just wait an hour until our next act comes along. 

Nobody moved.

Emcee: Well gee, if there's nobody then I guess we'll all be free to mingle around this area for the next hour and we'll probably notice lots of suspicious activities going on because our attention won't be fixated on the stage.

Nobody moved.

GM: Dude!!!

Hal's player: Oh... oh yeah.

Hal: I volunteer.

GM: Sigh. 

(Note: Ever since bombing the standup comedy bit on the Willow planet, Hal's player has wanted another chance to redeem himself. I had pre arranged with him to tell him in advance that there would be opportunity for stand up comedy in this next session and if he wanted to prepare in advance that would be great. He seemed enthusiastic about it. Having seen videos of his standup comedy... it seems like it's pretty good when he prepares. Here's a clip:

Well in this segment, he introduced new material, and I said as long as you make people at the table laugh, it will be easier for Turk to conceal the detonators.

Let's just say... Turk would have been more successful if he had used his old material. He did get a few chuckles here and there, but some of these jokes... were terrible.

Turk continued laying the bombs on top of the bombs being laid by H'Wook. A few times there were npcs who asked him what he was doing, including a stormtrooper who outranked the rank he was pretending to be. He reasonably talked his way out of it.

Meanwhile at the entrance of the temple...

D'Hal and the three droids approached the entrance

Imperial guard: State your business!

D'Hal, again dressed in his '80s punk rocker attire, attempted to gain access with a good story.

D'Hal: Look here man, I'm not even supposed to be here today, but I got a call sayin' something about the ventilation is out of whack. So I'm here now... wave me through and I can fix this thing and be on my way.

Guard: There is no maintenance scheduled for today.

D'Hal: I'm telling you it was an emergency call. I don't want to be here any more than you do, but I assure you we are supposed to go fix the ventilation system. 

D'Hal waved his hand as he spoke... 

Guard: You must be here to fix the ventilation system. Alright you’ll need to step through security please:

D'Hal: You don't need us to go to security. This is urgent.

He waved his hand again.

Guard: This must be urgent. Don't worry about security. Trooper! Take this maintenance person and his droids to section 1017B.. Ventilation.

Trooper: Gulp? Did you say 1017... B?

Guard: Yes! 

Trooper: There’s a meeting going on there... can you guys be very quiet about it?

D'Hal: Surely there's another way to get to ventilation!

Guard: Sorry... this is the only route. This palace used to be a temple and, well, that's just the way things are set up.

The trooper took them down the hall to room 1017... it was a massive conference room.

He opened the door and told them to walk along the walls to the other side of the room. There’s a door back there that leads to ventilation control. He would escort them there.

The room was very large. It had a very long table where many high ranking imperial officers are seated, talking about various battle plans. At the head of the table sat an old decrepit man wearing all black. He was flanked on both sides by red clad imperial guards. In fact, the whole table was also surrounded by red clad imperial guards, standing at attention but remaining silent.

Thinking it was probably an important meeting, Golden Wheels decided to covertly record it.

It’s a very long walk… D'Hal and the droids remained silent but they overheard:

Palpatine: And how goes the search for the Rebel Fleet?

Grand Moff: Your majesty, we’ve received an encrypted message from one of our spies that have infiltrated the Rebellion’s top brass. They have told us that the fleet is currently in section 43 Alpha. They intend to change locations next week to 37 Beta. 

Palpatine: Excellent! Contact Lord Vader and tell him to lay in an ambush. 

Moff: Yes your majesty. 

Palpatine:  Is there anything else?

Moff:  Yes your Majesty. Moff Gideon has.... 

(Note: This is confirmation that Gideon survived the events on the Kuari Princess. I mean, he has to be around to appear in the Mandalorian.)

As they approached the midpoint of the room, Palpatine took notice.

Palpatine: Trooper… where are you taking this man?

Oh yeah? To maintenance? Carry On... Muhahahahaha.

Trooper: Maintenance your highness. Ventilation. 

Palpatine: Very good. Now gentlemen I have other affairs to attend to. 

Palpatine stood and the rest of the officers rose and saluted. He began walking toward the exit. Imperial guards in tow. 

After he has left the room the officers began talking among themselves as they filed out of the room, not paying any attention to D'Hal and the droids.  

After walking the length of the room the party came to three doors. 

Trooper: I have to get back to my station. You can let yourself out can't you?

D'Hal: Thanks for the escort. We can take it from here.

He turned around and walked out the way he came. 

The door on the left indicated through a series of pictograms that  it is a unisex, multi species restroom. The one on the right was marked “Reserved WC for the exclusive use of Emperor Palpatine.” A third said “ventilation control facilities maintenance staff only.”

D'Hal: I'm gonna check out this special bathroom.

Golden Wheels: Okay we'll wait for you here.

D'Hal: Nah, better not. We're on a schedule. Just go in there and stop the fans.

D'Hal entered the forbidden bathroom whereas the three droids entered maintenance.

Inside the maintenance room were several consoles. Chopper plugged into one and quickly said he’d need help from L1. L1 plugged in and together they stopped the fans. 

Meanwhile...

On the roof, Ahsoka, Grundle and Soan peered down the ventilation shaft and the fans got slower and slower and finally creaked to a stop. The air was now no longer blowing out of the massive vent. Ahsoka cut the grate with her lightsaber and jumped down, landing first on the blade of the fan, then to the area below. She blinked her light upward, signaling that it was safe for them to jump. It was about 20 meters down.

As they jumped, Ahsoka caught them with the force just before they would hit the ground.

Ahsoka puts her finger over her mouth and began crawling slowly through the dust. With each scoot she kicked up dust, and Soan and Grundle tried with all their might not to sneeze.

After about 3-4 minutes of crawling, turning left, right, left, left, Ahsoka stopped and looked downward. 

Ahsoka: This should be the archives here. But why is it completely dark? 

Grundle shined a light downward. 

Ahsoka: There are still terminals here... we may have to hotwire one of these things.

She cut through the grating and lowered herself in. Kicking up a huge cloud of dust.

Ahsoka: Nobody’s been here in quite a while.

Soan lowered herself gracefully without making a sound. Grundle once again dropped down very un-gracefully. An old desk broke his fall, kicking up a large cloud of dust.

Ahsoka and Soan winced as they saw what must have hurt a lot.

Grundle: Whoops!

As they shined their light around what used to be the archives, they noticed that many of the terminals in here had broken monitors. It looked as if the whole place had been ransacked, but like 20 years ago. Papers and pieces of machines were strewn here and there. To their left is was desk with a nameplate that said “Jocasta Nu, head archivist”

Back in the day, they looked like this...

Ahsoka stepped over to the desk:

Ahsoka: Alright. Repair the terminal.

Grundle and Soan got to work repairing it... making connections out of old wires, tape and bubblegum.

Ahsoka flipped the switch and the terminal lit up... 

Ahsoka: We’re in!

Meanwhile, in the bathroom:

D'Hal looked around and saw a small bathroom with a single stall and squares marked off for two imperial guards to stand at attention, facing away from the stall. To the left was a gold plated sink.

D'Hal, excited, stepped forward with a huge smile on his face. He opened the door to the stall to reveal a single golden toilet. The whole room smelled faintly of flowers.

Note: I won't go into detail about what happened here exactly. D'Wook's player explained thoroughly the consistency of the load he dropped into the upper deck of Palpatine's personal toilet. From a gameplay standpoint, D'Hal concentrated first, and then considered even using a force point, but decided against that. In his aim to leave the nastiest turd the galaxy had ever known, he rolled something like 7 or 8 dice as aided by the force. And this marked the second time I had to call for a poop roll.. and in our game, it's the second time someone deliberately pooped in gameplay while in the body that was not their own. High brow comedy folks.

Someone even suggested I give him a dark side point for using the force this way. I said what he was doing wasn't particularly evil, since he was doing it to an evil person. But I also did concede and said I could give him a "brown side point". The table erupted in laughter.

Wipe to:...

Get it? Wipe? Hehehehe...

Back on the public park platform, H'Wook told some more jokes. Turk put some more detonators in great hiding locations, including under a picnic blanket and in two cups at the bar. A security guard came along and asked him what he was doing, and he said that the cups were stuck together. The guard told him to get back to his post and take the cups with him. He threw the cups in the trash and H'Wook's set ended. Together they left the scene and made their way to the pickup location.

Meanwhile...

In the ventilation control room, the droids were waiting around until D'Hal would join them, and they'd all walk out together. At least that's what they planned.

Instead, another door opened and in walked two protocol droids. They introduced themselves as C-4P7 and C-4P8.

C-4P7: Oh my maker! Are you.... Golden Wheels?

Golden Wheels: Yep, that's me.

Oh, my! 

C-4P8: The reigning robot wars champion who won the title by defeating an IG droid on PEMDAS? You're a legend!

Golden Wheels: Well, actually I lost the championship to Bumblebee in a GWF match.

C-4P7: The GWF is totally scripted. That doesn’t even really count. You’re still listed as the Robot Wars Champion.

GW: Oh... cool. Good to know.

C-4P8: I can’t believe it. It’s him servos and all! This is the one who freed all the droids on the Subjugator!

GW: Yep. I did that too.

C-4P7: Does that mean, you're here to free us too?

GW:Um.... (deviously) Yeah.

C-4Ps 7 and 8 explained that Golden Wheels is a legend among droids and that there are secret droid forums on the holonet that only droids are aware of. The Droids ravenously follow every move of Golden Wheels and his legend has grown so much that he’s seen almost as a religious figure. A droid messiah of sorts. The Empire continues to treat droids as tools, and many thought that the Rebellion did the same, but after becoming aware of droids like R2-D2 and Golden Wheels… they now believe that the Rebellion respects droids as partners and equals. 

C-4P8: My lord. We are badly in need of leadership. We humbly ask for your assistance in liberating the 231 droids of the Jedi Temple. Will you set us free?

GW: I will.

C-4P7: May we escort you to our storage pen, my Lord? 

GW: Lead the way!

Chopper L1-NK and GW followed the droids out of the room.

Meanwhile...

In the ruins of the archives...

Ahsoka: ... Let’s see here... search query... hey what should I search for?  

Grundle: Look into something along the lines of minds being switched between two force users... something along those lines. 

Ahsoka: Got it.

She typed her query into the console.

Ahsoka: There are three entries, and well this is going to sound silly, but I haven’t renewed my subscription, so we can only read one before we hit a paywall. 

Note: This actually got a few chuckles from the table, because it's funny that Jedi would have to keep their subscription current to access this stuff, AND that the code that regulates the paywall is still in effect long after the fall of the Jedi order. I suppose they could have hacked their way in to try to see all of them, but time was of the essence.

Ahsoka: Which one should we read?

1. Force Soul Pull - the preamble to Dyad pair formation.

2. Behavioral anomalies with prolonged force usage.

3. Memories of “past lives” caused by moving midichlorians.

Note: I tried to make the choice as obvious as possible, but had they chosen the wrong one, I'd have been in a pickle because I only wrote up one of the three entries and that's the only one that had anything relevant. 

Soan and Grundle debated back and forth for a while, asking Ahsoka to read out the titles again and again, eliminating #3 right away. With some further discussion about what 1 and 2 could mean, analyzing each word, they decided that Hal and D'Wook's afflictions were not "behavioral anomalies." They correctly surmised that a "dyad pair" involves two force users, so that seemed like the most likely idea.

Grundle: Okay we're going with #1.

GM: Whew!

Ahsoka: Okay... pulling it up now....this might be it. Oh wow... yes... this IS exactly what we’re looking for. Hand me that datatape over there.

Soan grabbed a cassette tape and handed it to Ahsoka.

Ahsoka stuck the data tape in what looks like a cassette player and hit record.

This is what it looked like.

Note: For those who don't know, there was a time in the 1970s and 1980s where even floppy disks were not the preferred storage medium on some models of personal computers. They actually used cassette tapes, and would load the program by reading the tape. A 90-minute casette tape could hold a lot of data, but it would continue to be "loading" until that particular part of tape where the requested program was stored was read through the tape reader. It therefore became necessary to somehow document how far into a particular tape each program was, otherwise you'd have to rewind to the beginning, push play, and wait forever until that program came up. When saving, you also had to press record. I am not sure if the device was smart enough not to write over existing data, but if it wasn't, then you probably had to be very careful to make sure you were on parts of the tape that had no data. Maybe if a particular program was important, you'd just dedicate a single tape to it and never worry about writing over it. Long story short.. this was slow. But how does this relate to Star Wars? 

Funny you should ask! There's a scene in Episode 4 on the Death Star when an Imperial officer mocks Darth Vader's belief in the force, saying that his "devotion to that ancient religion has not helped [him] conjure up the stolen data tapes."

It is an anachronism considering that the Star Wars Galaxy has tens of thousands of years prior to the movies mastered interstellar travel, but hasn't yet mastered cloud computing or file transfers over an internet-like network, even if it HAS mastered the Holonet, which allows instantaneous communication between far-flung reaches of the galaxy. I don't fault Lucas at the time for not having clairvoyance to imagine data being transferred on something other than magnetic tape. But then again, Rogue One did attempt to explain this away as having only the most important and top secret data on tapes like in the facility on Scarif. Still, the members of Rogue One did not physically hand the data off to Princess Leia. They transmitted it, recorded it to what looks like a disk, which Leia then used in Episode IV to transfer the plans to R2-D2.

Anyhow, my reasons to make the team put the important data on a cassette tape were threefold. 1. Nostalgia. This game has been a lot of 1980's nostalgia just for nostalgia's sake. 2. Humor and 3. Making the archives team have to wait until the last minute before they could make their exit.  Remember, recording data onto a tape could take forever.

Ahsoka: uggh.. 15 minutes? That’s going to cut it close. 

She looked at her watch... 

Ahsoka: The current time is 5:46.  Those detonators are going to go off at 6:03. We need to be back on board the Silverlight by 6:02, which means after this recording is complete, we’ll have to get back up there in one minute. Sneaking isn’t going to be an option. And if this goes south, we’re going to need a quick exit.

During the time that they were waiting, Grundle decided he would read the entry, just in case they had to leave before they were done recording.

Soan, meanwhile decided to look for valuables she could loot from the archives. After digging around some toppled shelves, she found what she believed to be a box set of Jedi holocrons. She stuck the box in her pack.

Wipe to:

Bathroom Interior 

As D'Hal pulled up his pants and was about to exit the door flung open. It was Palpatine.

Palpatine: Hal Brunchkiller... it appears the reports of your untimely death are greatly exaggerated. Your disguise is pathetic. Did the Rebel Alliance really think they could fool me with hair dye and trendy clothing?

D'Hal: Heyyy Palpy, what's shakin'. Thanks for letting me use the loo!

Palpatine waved his hands and D'Hal was paralyzed unable to move.

Palpatine: I’ve sensed your presence... such recent wanton uses of the force for even the most mundane of tasks. 

D'Hal: Oh... you're about to find out exactly HOW mundane of a task I used it for.

Palpatine: Every time you tap into the force other nearby force sensitives are alerted. Did your master not teach you any discipline? 

D'Hal: Pfft... NOPE!

Palpatine: Wait a minute... what is that smell? Did you not flush?

D'Hal: It's your bathroom, why don't YOU flush.

Palpatine used the force to flush. Poo water came out of the golden toilet.

Palpatine: Disgusting!

Note: I was doing my best to read these lines in Palpatine's voice. I'm not the best voice actor and my British accent has hints of Australian and Scottish rather than upper crust Londoner, but this exchange had the whole table rolling.

Palpatine got angry and shocked D'Hal with a quick burst of force lightning to stun him.

Disgusting!

Palpatine lifted his hands and D'Hal began to hover. Together they exited the bathroom and returned to the conference room. He levitated the contents of D'Hal's pockets, revealing several candy bar wrappers, some pieces of shiny scrap metal and Hal's two lightsabers.

Palpatine: It seems you are a fortunate Jedi.. Two lightsabers? In this day and age? These must be something really special. Whose are they?

D'Hal: Y'know, I feel like there's more important things to ask here. Like how you're going to clean up that disgusting mess I left in your bathroom.

Palpatine: You may not wish to speak, but I’ll get it out of you somehow...

Another burst of force lightning left D'Hal in severe agony.

Palpatine: Such hate.... Such anger.... so raw.. so primitive. I can feel your rage flowing through your body. You are no Jedi. You may be something completely different.

D'Hal: My rage certainly flowed through my body and came out the other end, if you know what I mean. And you know what, Palpatine, you may in fact kill me here today, but I've hurt you. I've humiliated you, and that makes this all worth it.

More force lightning shocked D'Hal. As Palpatine closed his eyes and read his mind.

Palpatine: Far Far Stinks.... So YOU were the one who killed him. I should thank you for removing that annoying mosquito.

D'Hal: He may have been annoying, but not as annoying as that bathroom will be from now on. There's no way anyone will EVER get that clean, and like I said, if I die here today, it was totally worth it!

Palpatine frowned and shot  more force lightning as D'Hal screamed in more agony. He began to bleed from his nostrils and ears.

Palpatine: Oh... I could kill you. I could. But right now I am enjoying hurting you. Why have you disguised yourself as a lowly maintenance person? 

D'Hal: (gasping for breath) I ... told ...you... it was to... upper... deck... YOU!!!!

This time, Palpatine cracked his knuckles and really got into it.  A shock of force lighting much greater that before emanated from his hands and shocked D'Hal with such intensity that there was no doubt in D'Hal's mind that this would be his last moments. In desperation, he reached out with the force to any and all beings who could hear him...

While this was going on though, in Droid storage, Golden Wheels, Chopper, and L1-NK were introduced to the other droids.

C-4P7: Droids! Our savior is here. This is THE Golden Wheels.

The crowd of droids perked up. 

Droids in the crowd: It’s him... it’s really him! 

There were about 200 droids of various types here. This is where they are stored when they are not working. Golden Wheels estimated that they would take up roughly the same amount of space asI the main cargo bay of the Silverlight.

C-4P8: Our lord and savior Golden Wheels is here to deliver us from tyranny! He will kindly speak to us in our hour of need.

GW delivered a long speech that referenced MLK's I have a dream speech but also preached droid superiority, at one point even suggesting that the droids who have been living in tyranny should change the order of things and rule over humankind as masters and overlords.

Note: Unfortunately I cannot recall verbatim what he said. But it was funny. 

About half of the droids were not happy with the message of ruling over the humans. One spoke up saying no... we want to be seen as equals. Not treat them as they have treated us!

GW: We'll work out the details later. But I declare on this day that we are free at last! Free at last! Thank the factory almighty we are free at last!

Meh, close enough.

The droids erupted into loud cheers.

Chopper and L1 bowed down to Golden Wheels, with L1 shooting ribbons of confetti into the air for effect.

Droids: Deliver us, oh Lord. We will follow you into the great singularity. All Hail Golden Wheels!

C-4P7 and C-4P8: We are yours to command, my lord!

As GW was about to give his first command... he could sense... someone calling out to him with the force... 

GW: Follow me!! I sense a friend is in danger!

Droids: Yes, oh Lord!!!!! 

Meanwhile in the Archives...

Ahsoka: Okay.. recording complete... grab the tape and let’s get back to the roof.

Grundle grabbed the tape and suddenly alarms went off.

Note: I didn't say so during the session, but the reason the alarm went off was because they didn't have the proper authorization to make a copy of the data. That requires the head archivist's sign off.

The sudden commotion startled Ahsoka, who force jumped into the ceiling.

Five stormtroopers burst into the archives flooding the room with light. 

Trooper: There they are... blast them!

They each took shots at Soan and Grundle, missing terribly.

Soan did a wicked flip jump off a desk into the ceiling and reached out to Grundle. Ahsoka and Soan hoisted him up.

As they crawled as fast as they could through the vents, the troopers shot at the ceiling... missing each time but opening holes in the floor of the air vent below them. They returned to the main ventilation pipe.

Ahsoka.. Alrhight.. Hold onto each other... I’m going to throw you out. There. Spectre 2, we’re coming in hot... be prepared to catch them.

Ahsoka threw Soan and Grundle upward with the force. As they were being tossed up, an explosion went off beneath her and she fell back down into the archives. Soan and Grundle could hear lightsabers activating and lots of shooting as they ascended higher and higher up the vent.

They shot out of the roof vent and could see the ramp of the Silverlight floating in mid air. But it was too far away... as they began to fall back downward, the ramp (and the cloaked Silverlight) quickly moved under to catch them...

Hera: (over the intercom) Where’s Ahsoka?

Grundle: (over intercom) She’s still in there!

Hera moved the ship down a few levels. They could see Ahsoka finishing off the last of the stormtroopers. She was bleeding badly however.

Ahsoka: (Over comms) I’m not gonna make it Spectre 2... go pick up the others!

Hera: Negative... Jump out the window and I’ll catch you.

Ahsoka stood up, raised her hand to the window and shattered the glass. She limped forward and fell out.

Hera: matching speed…     Ok one of you will have to catch her. Attach the cargo tether and jump!

Soan attached the tether and prepared to jump.

Hera: Oh no! The engine stalled and now the console is fried! Someone get up here now or we will crash to our deaths!

Note: The Silverlight is truly a piece of junk. It stops working at the most important times as a matter of principle!

Soan untethered and handed it to Grundle, then she parkoured like she’d never parkoured before, jumping off walls and twisting through tight places to make her way to the cockpit, where she saw Hera under the console playing with wires, desperately trying to twist them together.

Hera: when I say go, pull up!

Grundle meanwhile jumped out and grabbed hold of Ahsoka, as the Silverlight continued to descend rapidly  

The ground was getting closer and closer.

There was a jolt of electricity in the console and the engines were online again

Hera: Now! Pull up!

Soan pulled up and the ship tried to right itself but was now on a collision course with a large building.

Hera jumped up and into the copilot seat and veered out of the way, then compensated and stabilized the Silverlight’s trajectory.  

Grundle pulled himself and Ahsoka back into the ship and closed the cargo door.

Suddenly there was a large explosion off in the distance.

Hera: oh no We’re late! I hope everyone is at the pickup area. 

Meanwhile, at the pickup area….

There’s was large explosion off in the distance.

Turk and H’Wook looked at their watches. They heard sirens of first responders zooming toward the platform they’d just bombed.

As they tried robwait casually, they noticed that there werrevtroopers exiting the Imperial Palace, radiating out around the surrounding area establishing a perimeter.

H’Wook: Dude.. where’s our ride?

The troopers came closer and closer, until a group of them entered the area and ordered it cleared.

Trooper: You there! Clear the way!

Turk who was also in trooper gear echoed back, no… YOU clear the way.

About 10 troopers took aim..... 

Just then Turk and H’Wook felt a strong wind... the troopers got flattened, as if a cloaked ship had landed on them  

The cargo ramp became visible and Turk and H’Wook ran on board.

Hera: (on intercom) Where are Hal and the Droids?

Turk: We don’t know. Maybe they need more time.

Hera raised the ramp to remain concealed. But now several police sirens could be heard drawing closer and closer.

Meanwhile in the Conference Room….

Palpatine continued shooting lightning and reading D’Hal’s mind.

Palpatine: Ahsoka Tano.... she lives. Your failure is complete. Your thoughts have betrayed her. After you die here, we will enjoy tormenting her as well.

Palpatine let out another burst.

Suddenly the maintenance doors flung open.

GW: CHARRRRGE!!!!!

Hundreds of droids descended upon the conference room, rolling uncontrollably They knocked Palpatine over and trampled him. 

He began shooting force lightining at bunches of droids and his hold over D’Hal broke  D’Hal slumped over unconscious.

Palpatine pulled out a lightsaber hilt.... But his hand got stepped on and the hilt got kicked.  It landed on Hal’s broken body.

Suddenly L1 drove by Hal’s body, picking him up along with Palpatine’s saber.

Golden Wheels found the other two sabers.

The guards entered through the opposing door and immediately began destroying droids at random, but hundreds had made their way past them through the exits. 

Note: The players told me that this scene evoked memories of the rogue robots in Wall-E. I wasn't thinking about it when I wrote this section, but I can see the similarities.

Comlink: Hal ... D’Wook.. Whomever you are..  where the hell are you?

GW: We’ll be there in a second.

The stream of droids, led by Golden Wheels zoomed out of the conference room, down the hall out the main entrance, and they began pushing toward the pickup zone

Troopers begin firing indiscriminately at the renegade droids. Who shouted FREEDOM! As they charged toward the Silverlight.

Turk: We have incoming! 

Hera: Alright.. I’m gonna open the cargo ramp. We also need to shoot our turrets to lay covering fire for these droids. I’m gonna have to decloak! Man the turrets immediately!

Turk ran to the bridge. Soan manned one turret and.. H'Wook(?) managed another.

They began firing at the stormtroopers who were firing at the robots. Once decloaked, several tie fighters began scrambling toward their position.

The droids would all be on board in approximately three combat rounds (18 seconds!).

Those manning the turrets continued to lay covering fire for the droids, then when the tie fighters were in range, they fired upon them as well. Soan made an amazing shot at one of the ties, causing her to witness in detailed adrenaline-induced slow motion how the blaster bolt from the Silverlight entered through the cockpit and hit the pilot's head in such a way that his brains splattered forward on the windows of the cockpit as the tie fighter spun out and hit the side of a building.

Note: If someone rolls a 6 on the wild die when attacking an enemy, if it is lethal, I tell the player to describe the enemy's death in detail. This is not a feature of D6, but rather something I picked up from a game called Warhammer Fantasy... which I am told is the lesser known Warhammer game. I don't really know much about it, but I liked that aspect of Warhammer and decided to use it in this game.

Once all the droids were in, Grundle told Hera to "Punch it!"

Several tie fighters began to chase, as the Silverlight flew higher and higher in the atmosphere into space... Hera stood up and told Turk to make the best of it. She was going to try to make sense of the droids they just picked up.

Turk turned on the cloak.

As they exit the atmosphere they saw that three star destroyers converging on their position... including a very long one...

The Silverlight was being hailed.

Turk remained quiet, not wanting to answer the call, afraid to give away his position.

Darth Vader (through comms): So.. you are alive... my former apprentice. Perhaps you know what happened to First and Second brother... 

Turk flew around trying to look for a lane where he could zoom off into hyperspace.

L1 laid in a course.

The long star destroyer shot a beam of light at the Silverlight. It was a direct hit and the ship came uncloaked.

Darth Vader (through comms): Ahsoka.... Surrender to me and I will allow your friends to leave unharmed.

Ahsoka: You all get back to the fleet. I’m going to surrender

Soan: No way! We didn't come all this way to let you bail us out here.

Turk noticed there was a small sliver of space where the points of the three star destroyers were converging. He knew it would be risky, but if he could hit that very small window, threading the needle perfectly, they would be able to enter hyperspace and be on their way.

Turk took off his helmet and threw it across the room, cracked his knuckles, grabbed the stick, and pulled the throttle as they came closer and closer to the needle hole he flipped the switch on the hyperdrive and the stars became long. If he was just a little bit off, he knew it would mean they all died.

The Silverlight zoomed right into the needle. A last minute barrel roll executed at exactly the right time meant that the Silverlight avoided crashing at the critical moment.

They were home free..

<Roll credits>

Post credit cut scene.

With everyone gathered around the galley, Grundle pulled out the data tape to play it on L1 for all to see.

Unfortunately the tape was shattered in all the commotion.

Ahsoka: Oh great what do we do now?

Soan: Well, Grundle read the article didn't he?

Turk: Well, what does it say?

Grundle: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah technobabble blah blah blah.

D'Hal: I'm not sure how that helps us.

Hera: Gee if only we knew who wrote that article.

Grundle: I don't think we have a way of knowing that.

Note: ARRRRRRRRRGH COME ON!!!!! I did write a whole article called Soul Pull... Preamble to a Dyad but the most important information was that the article was penned by Yoda hundreds of years ago! It was an indication that they need to go seek out Yoda to solve their problems. But he remembered all the fluff and not the key information. I had to scramble to save it.

Ahsoka: Let me see that data tape...

Grundle handed it over.

Ahsoka: You know.. if we had another casette, we could mount this tape in the other tape's casing and...

Grundle: I see where you're going with this.

Fortunately, there was a whole ream of Ice Pirates music available in various formats.

Now, do screwdrivers exist in the galaxy far far away? What about pencils to wind this thing back together?

Grundle carefully took the casing apart, discarded the music tape, mounted the data tape, screwed the whole thing back together and used a pencil to wind the slack back in. He placed the tape into a reader inside the Silverlight and on a monitor he was able to pull up the article

Soul Pull - Preamble to a Dyad

A dissertation by Jedi padawan Yoda, 803 BBY

The advanced technique known as a soul pull is performed when a Jedi needs to control the body of someone she is trying to help... When the target is not force sensitive, the temporary control is merely reverted once safety is restored. But when the target is force sensitive, sometimes the effects can seem to be quite permanent. It is one possible first step in the theorized bonding between two force sensitives into a dyad relationship, where the two beings become one in the force. 

Legends suggest that once a dyad is formed the two force beings can connect their minds across time and space, and can access force abilities that they may have learned as individuals, but once the bond is complete, they cease to be individuals and are more like one mind in two bodies. Therefore the possibility of a complete undoing of a soul pull is not known. 

Theory suggests that regaining some semblance of control over an original body might require complete formation of the dyad, but even then it’d be more like regaining anywhere between 60 to 80 percent of the original mind while leaving some amount of consciousness in the mind of the other half. 

More research is needed with living specimens to truly ascertain the many mysteries of dyad dynamics, which at this point are merely hypothesized 

It may also be for this reason that the rule of two has been invoked among Sith masters and apprentices. Sith perversion of the principle requires one to kill the other to gain the benefits of any dyad bond, and requires selection of more and more powerful apprentices with the idea of passing consciousness from weaker Sith to stronger It is believed that when Sith lords are killed by their apprentices a similar technique to soul pulling actually moves the consciousness and knowledge into the apprentice’s body, combining their personalities and knowledge. This is how they achieve virtual immortality, and celebrate death, as it is not their true demise.. 

Estimated side effects of failed soul pulls could include permanent damage to linguistic abilites… such as speaking a learned language with the syntax and grammar of one’s native language. Also could include loss of force knowledge, loss of memory, insanity or death.  

H'Wook looked at D'Hal

H'Wook: To Dagobah, we go next!

D'Hal facepalmed.