Session 25: Riders of the Maelstrom

 Opening crawl:

Session XXV: Riders of the Maelstrom

As the “new lineup” of the Ice Pirates rock band--in an elaborate diversion--dazzled the attendees of the evening gala aboard the Kuari Princess cruiseliner, the rest of the REBEL strike force known as “DELTA TEAM” snuck into the engineering section to investigate a possible meeting between two IMPERIAL MOFFS.

Fortunately for their mission, “possible” became “definite,” as in the course of their investigation, they stumbled into the secret meeting. 

Unfortunately for their safety, the two moffs had a security detail of 50 elite stormtroopers, who shoot wildly in their general direction, as they dive out of harm’s way...  

Uh oh!

When we last left off, the stormtroopers had been ordered to put their blasters on stun... but this was after Maki got hit several times with lethal blaster bolts. She was now bleeding out. 

Vero was struggling to get the door to the hallway open. It wouldn't budge. The blaster fire resumed. Hal (as an NPC) positioned himself in the doorway to the conference room and began parrying shot after shot with his lightsaber. 

Hal: Hurry up and get that door open!

Vero continued to stuggle with the door.

Vero: It won't open!

Gideon: Alpha and Bravo teams advance!

Hal continued to parry shot after shot. He looked back at the door.

Hal: hey guys… cover me

The rest of the group looked quizzically at him.

Hal then remembered that Vero had an axe, Soan had a sword, D’Wook had a spear and L1 had a boxing glove. 

Hal: Nevermind. L1, block the doorway to the conference room. 

Edit: Astute readers will recall that L1 is made of beskar. So he can act as a shield of sorts.

Hal concentrated, spent a force point, and lifted the blast door to the hallway using the force. From the strain on his face, it was obvious that he was struggling.

Hal: Go guys! Go!

They ran down the hallway trying to get away, but the stormtroopers flooded into the corridors and were able to get them into a section of hallway where they could attack from both sides.

D'Wook and Vero lobbed thermal detonators, taking out several of the troopers, but after that, the troopers behind them had gotten their stun shots off. Everyone collapsed to the ground.

They awoke in the conference room. Moffs Gideon and Wolf were standing in the center. There were more than 30 living stormtroopers and less than 20 dead ones, who were piled in one of the corners of the room.

Maki and D’Wook were handcuffed together and put in a small cage meant for pets. It wasn't comfortable. Maki was terribly wounded and it looked like she might die without prompt medical attention. D'Wook took off his shawl and did his best to make a bandage for the worst wound. But the others estimated that without a medpac she'd probably be a gonner within hours.

The rest of the team were tied to chairs, except L1, who had been affixed with a restraining bolt. Hal had a strange device over his eyes that pulsated light into them at a random rate, making it very difficult for him to focus on anything.

Hal is having trouble concentrating.

Their weapons were in a pile near L1.

Gideon picked up D’Wook’s trident and clicked the button. It extended violently, surprising him slightly.

Gideon: Now this is really something... Quarren, I believe. Great design.

Gideon, who saw L1 and his punching glove during the battle examined the droid, touching it.

Gideon: I know beskar when I see it. What mysteries could we learn about you, my little friend?  

Gideon pressed a button on L1 and opened his head. Curious, he put the trident inside. It disappeared.

Gideon: Impressive. Now we know that technology and the force CAN be used together. We shall study this specimen intently.

Wolf: Can you stop messing around with that pile of junk! We’ve got more important things to deal with here.

Gideon: Oh indeed. Sgt... lead a squad of 30 of your men to search for their friends. Meanwhile we will extract as much information out of these... traitors, as we can.

The seargent called out some squad numbers and departed, leaving seven troopers and the two moffs behind.

Wolf menacingly held Vero's jaw and gently caressed her lips. He leaned in face to face.

Wolf: So.. Vero. No doubt you’ve met my wife by now. She’s everything you weren’t... strategic, kniving... brilliant ... and most importantly.. LOYAL.

Vero head butted Wolf who squealed. His nose had been broken and he was now bleeding.

Vero: Oh yeah, I met her. She tried to sell you out the instant we put her on trial. Who do you think told us about your little secret meeting?

Gideon laughed.

Wolf glared at Gideon, then smiled at Vero, wiping the blood away.

Wolf: You’ve got quite the temper these days… I like it… My younger self might have been intimidated by a ferocious creature like you, but these days I call the shots around here and the rage of a woman I once loved is little more than an annoyance. And I will soon quiet your rage. I’m sorry, but this will be your last day. 

Vero: Perhaps you and me both. Mark my words, you will not leave this ship as a free man, not alive anyway.

Wolf: Charming... to the last.

Gideon examined Soan, scanned her face with a datapad, and pulled up information about her from the Imperial network.

Gideon: (to Soan) And to think we were hospitable to you. Even allowed you to make a tidy profit as a merchant in service to the Empire. And how are we repaid? You join the rebellion at the first chance? 

Gideon aims a blaster at Soan’s head.

Gideon: For high treason, in the name of Emperor Palpatine, I sentence you to death.

Wolf: Don’t touch her. I have uses for her.

Gideon: Moff Wolf... you’re too concerned with the perks of your position. It will be your undoing. But let’s move on to you... Master Brunchkiller.

Hal waved his fingers.

Hal: “We are not the rebels you’re looking for.”

Gideon smiles.

Hal waved his fingers again.

Hal: “You will order your troopers to exit the room, set us free, and return our weapons to us.

Gideon: It appears the force is not with you on this day, Master Jedi.

(Edit: I was playing Hal as an NPC. This seems in line with his character.)

Hal struggled a bit. The weapons pile moved around but not in an organized way. The light pulses intensified and the weapons dropped to the floor again. Hal grimaced in agony.

Gideon: Interesting. We’ll have to keep this one as well.

Wolf picked up a stormtrooper rifle and swung it at Hal, hitting him on the side of the head. His body went limp.

Wolf: Stop messing around, Gideon!

Wolf: And now Vero, tell us... where is the rebel fleet? 

A torture droid with a syringe moved closer to Vero...

And now we will discuss the location of the Rebel fleet!

It was at this point that several explosions could be heard. From the meeting room the explosions seemed to grow louder and louder as the ship shook more and more.

An announcement came over the intercom.

Intercom: This is the captain speaking. The Kuari Princess is under attack! Repeat. We're under attack. All passengers, please remain in place for your own safety! Repeat. Pirates are attacking the Kuari Princess. We are signaling our surrender. Please follow the instructions of the crew. Let's simply give the pirates what they want and hopefully they'll let us go to our next port of call. Repeat. Remain in pla.... <static>

Gideon immediately signaled towards the stormtroopers and they marched out of the room. Wolf stood there in place, his mouth agape. Shortly after Gideon left the room another explosion hit very close. The room shook violently and everything went dark, and everyone was knocked out.

Meanwhile

At the gala, the announcement cut off the band mid-song. The people began to panic and some tried to run out of the place. Turk took the moment to get on the mic and advise people to remain in place as the announcement said.

Turk: Look people. It's for our own safety. Let's remain in place.

The stormtroopers began directing the passengers to the center of the room, and they trained their rifles on the doors.

Turk looked at the others, picked up his bass, and began to play.

Jeegn 2 (as npc) began singing a song to calm their nerves. As pirates entered the ballroom a firefight with the troopers broke out.

Turk and the others stopped playing.

After the first wave of pirates was repelled, a large group of stormtroopers exited the ballroom. Over their comlink it could be heard that they needed to get to Moff Gideon and the rest of his forces on a lower deck. Only a few stormtroopers remained. They kept their guns trained on the ballroom doors.

Several of the passengers began to talk about possibly going to the weapons shop, loading up and then fighting their way to escape pods. The stormtroopers advised them that it was a bad idea, because even if they escape, they're in the graveyard of Alderaan, and nobody would be by to pick them up.

A second wave of pirates broke in and fought with the remaining stormtroopers. The troopers were able to fight them off, but now only four troopers remained.

Golden Wheels thought it might be a good idea to attack the stormtroopers now, but Turk thought it might be better to team up with them against the pirates.

The band went over to the bar and began to discuss strategy.

Turk suggested to everyone that it might be a good idea to team up with some of the passengers and the stormtroopers to try to make their way to the weapon shop. Losar'Tan agreed. 

Among the passengers were several of the people they passed by before, and a giant Wookiee named Montacca, who was fascinated with everyone's technology. He closely examined the comlinks.

The stormtroopers agreed that they would fight their way to the weapons shop, but they needed to rejoin their unit, which they believed was fighting their way to the bridge.

Losar'Tan suggested maybe sneaking to the weapons shop rather than trying to fight their way there.

Everyone agreed. 

They snuck out of the ballroom and started making their way through the hallway. There were dead pirates and dead stormtroopers here and there. 

They could see lots of pirates carrying loads of equipment towards turbolifts. One said something along the lines of having to set everything up so that it would send a message to New Alderaan. Make it go boom.

Suddenly they turned a corner and there were four pirates asking everyone where they were going.

Turk: We're with you guys. These troopers are trying to fight their way to the bridge!

Trooper: Hey! That's not....

Pirate: Get 'em guys!

The pirates engaged the troopers and everyone else ran to the weapons shop. The door was locked.

Golden Wheels tried to mess around with the keypad on the door lock. He was not able to hack into it to open the door.

One could hear the stormtroopers dying in the background.

Turk: Hurry up and open the door we need weapons.

Another group of pirates turned the corner and questioned Turk. 

Pirate: Hey... what are you doing here?

Turk: We're with you guys.. they're are a bunch of stormtroopers coming this way. 

He pointed at the other pirates down the hall, who were obscured by smoke.

Turk: You'd better shoot them.

The pirates shot at the other pirates down the hall. They advanced through the smoke to investigate what they had killed.

Turk: Open the door now! They're going to realize what they did any moment now.

GW messed around more with the keypad but still could not open the door.

Montacca let out a roar and smashed the window. He walked through and opened the door from the other side.

Everyone ran in and armed themselves with whatever they could get their hands on.

Turk instead stood with his mouth agape at the sight of the senate guard ceremonial rifle. It was as if a light from the heavens shone down on it. He sat there admiring it. He saw the hefty price tag. He oogled it some more.

Montacca grabbed the rifle off the wall and tossed it to Turk, who had already instinctively picked up some ammo from a nearby crate. 

In a smooth motion he caught the rifle, loaded the ammo, released the safety and spun around toward the door.

The pirates returned... shooting into the weapons shop... killing one of the passengers. Everyone prepared to return fire, but Turk stepped forward. 

Turk: I got this.

Pirate: You in the weapon shop. We've got you surrounded. Identify yourself!

Turk: My name is Turk... and I'm kind of a big deal!

Pirate: Come out with your hands up.

Turk: I think not. I'll give you guys a head start to start running.

Pirate: Alright, boys... drop 'em.

As blaster bolts whizzed by, Turk dodged out of the way, did a spin move toward the open window, and shot three of the pirates between the eyes, ducked for another volley of shots, spun around back to the door, and shot the blasters right out of the hands of the other three. They immediately got up and started running away.

My name is Turk... and I'm kind of a big deal!

Golden Wheels: Yeah! Go ahead and run! Remember who we are! We're the Ice Pirates and you don't want to mess with us!

Unfortunately one of the pirates had thrown a grenade into the weapons shop and it went off, killing more passengers and severely injuring Losar'Tan and Grundle.

They did some emergency first aid on them, and started to plan their next move.

Meanwhile...

It was completely dark. Vero regained consciousness.

Vero: Uggh... anyone still alive?

Hal: I am. Hold on. Let me get us out of this.

The device on Hal's eyes was no longer functional. One could hear the crunching of metal, then within a few seconds Hal had ignited his lightsabser, illuminating the area.

Hal sliced at the ropes holding Vero down, freeing her. They looked around. Soan and Maki were nowhere to be found. The cage holding D'Wook was open. Vero ran over to L1 and removed his restraining bolt. L1 went over to the wall and interfaced with a computer, turning on emergency lighting. Hal awoke D'Wook.

It was then that they saw Moff Wolf sit up.

Wolf: Vero? 

Vero grabbed her axe and walked over to Andi.

Wolf: You know, I've never stopped loving you. I didn't want to put you in prison... but my career woudl have been finished if I didn't. I was going to get back together with you after you got out. I put you in there for us!

Vero: You married Lira.

Wolf: It's not a real marriage. It was good for both of our careers. She never meant anything to me! I would have come back for you.

Vero raised her axe in the air.

Wolf: Vero... please!!!!!

The axe came down hard and fast... into the floor in front of Moff Wolf, who had soiled his ripped pants.

Vero tossed him a blaster rifle.

Vero: If you want to get out of here alive, pick it up. But you're taking point. I'm warning you. If you so much as look at any of us the wrong way, I'll feed you piece by piece to the Ewok.

D'Wook picked up the arm of a dead stormtrooper and bit down hard, taking out a chunk of flesh.

Andi gulped with fear. He picked up the rifle and stood up.

Wolf: Thank you, Vero. What's our plan.

Vero: We're going to escape aboard your shuttle.

Edit: I'm fudging what happened here a bit, but I was very surprised that Vero's player didn't go try to kill Andi. Because Hal's player was not present I had asked him in advance if he was okay with me using the force with his character to prevent Vero from killing Andi. He said he was cool with that. But there was no need. Vero's player figured that maybe it would be easier to steal a Andi's shuttle with Andi around.

The group exited the conference room and headed towards the hangar bay.

It was then that they noticed that engineering had been rigged with lots of explosives. 

Meanwhile

As the Ice Pirates were regrouping in the weapons shop, one of the computer terminals lit up. It read: Message from Dagger.

Turk read the message. Dagger explained that he had determined that the pirates were not simply trying to steal valuables from the passengers. their plan is to rig the ship with explosives and send it crashing into New Alderaan, which they think is the headquarters of a rival pirate faction. Dagger recommended that the rebels split into two groups. One should fight their way to the bridge and gain control of the ship. The other should steal a shuttle in the hangar bay and go warn the good folks on New Alderaan just in case. Dagger explained that he'd do what he could to help them, but the ship would crash into New Alderaan in about 30 minutes.

Turk looked to the others and said, well, we're already split into two groups. Let's try to contact the other group. He pulled out his comlink and contacted Vero.

Vero answered and they discussed the situation. Turk was glad to hear that they were already on their way to the hangar bay. He said he would try to fight his way to the bridge, but Losar'Tan and Grundle were injured badly.

Vero said she would send Hal to them to heal them up and then they could go take the bridge. Turk said they would stay in place until Hal arrived.

Meanwhile

Vero, D'Wook, L1, and Andi marched their way to the hangar bay, which was guarded by several pirates. A fight broke out and after they defeated the pirates they realized that Andi had snuck away during the chaos. 

They figured he'd probably be dead or captured if he stayed on the ship, so they boarded the Lambda shuttle and exited the hangar.... into a whole fleet of pirate fighter ships.

Vero was driving and D'Wook jumped into a gun turret. The fighters got in formation for an attack run on the Lambda shuttle.

We keep stealing these. This must be the third time now.

Meanwhile.

Hal arrived in the weapons shop and helped heal Losar'Tan and Grundle. Everyone armed themselves and the Ice Pirates and Montacca and some other passengers exited into the hallway. They fought through a group of pirates to make their way to a turbolift.

Losar'Tan was shot really bad and mortally wounded. Hal can only heal any given subject once per day, so he was out of luck. Grundle applied a medpac to stabilize him, but Losar was paralized from the waist down. 

Montacca picked him up onto his shoulders as they forced the doors of the turbolift open and began a climb to the bridge.

Hal tried levitating himself instead of climbing the ladders. He was still a bit messed up from before, but he slowly ascended... occasionally losing concentration and falling quickly, only to catch himself and ascend again.

When the climbers got to the top, they forced the doors open and saw on the bridge that the Kuari Princess' crew were all killed, as well as several stormtroopers and pirates. Standing at the helm of the ship was none other than the Barabel pirate they had crossed paths with twice before. Captain Vangar Hook!

It was he who had originally doublecrossed the party after they had helped spring them from the brig of a star destroyer. Hook collected Jabba's bounty for Turk and his friends, dooming them to be digested in the Sarlaac. 

Later they would run into Hook again on Ord Mantell. They rescued Han Solo from his pirate camp and stole fuel for the Another Chance.

Beside Hook was a dismembered protocol droid. It looked familiar.

Turk burst through the door, followed by the others. Montacca with Losar'Tan on his shoulders held up the rear. 

The group began fighting with the pirates.

Losar'Tan was able to control Montacca by pulling hairs on his head like in the movie Ratatouille. 

Edit: This was hilarious! Even though technically Losar'Tan should have sat this battle out. I thought it was an ingenious way to include him in the climactic battle. Losar pulling Montacca's hair and making him go berserk was quite a riot.

Meanwhile

The lambda shuttle fought its way through the pirate fighters, but during the battle, Moff Wolf, who had been hiding in the closet jumped out and aimed his weapon at Vero's head, ordering her to fly to coordinates in his sector.

Vero concentrated on flying the ship and D'Wook was in the gun turret, so he couldn't really help out. L1, however was able and ready. He lowered himself a bit and bam.. the boxing glove connected with ... well let's just say it was Andi's speedbag. Andi fell to the ground clutching his Sword of Omens.

Edit: This will never get old!

Vero reached out to give L1 a fist bump.

The shuttle entered lightspeed and headed toward New Alderaan on asteroid 7785. Immediately the New Alderaan defense force scrambled some X-wings, demanding that the heroes identify themselves. Vero said who she was and explained the colony was in grave danger.

Cecil allowed them to land.

Vero explained the situation and Cecil ordered the defense force to go intercept the Kuari Princess, and destroy it if the other team would fail to gain control of the ship.

D'Wook decided to go get his flutterplume loaded on the Silverlight, and Vero, Cecil, and L1 joined him on board. They flew back toward the Princess.

Meanwhile, back on the bridge, 

The group defeated the pirates and Turk and Hook had a back and forth wherein Hook, with his dying breaths, accelerated the ship and locked out of the controls.

Hook: For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!

Turk: Yeah okay move out of the way.

The team tried hacking into the console to regain control. Hook had transferred control to a console in the hangar bay. A timer indicated only 7 minutes until impact. They'd never make it there in time.

Just then the Silverlight and the X-wings arrived. As the X-wings began destroying pirate fighter ships, Vero got on the comms and asked Turk for a status update.

He explained the situation, that they needed someone to go to the hangar bay and restore control of the ship to the bridge. With the turbolifts nonoperational there'd be no way they can make it in time.

Vero flew the Silverlight into the hangar bay, where 50 pirates were in the process of getting onto their ships to escape.

They figured out what was going on, and began shooting at the Silverlight.

Vero opened the cargo ramp and D'Wook rode his flutterplume into the horde of pirates. The terrifying bird smashed half of them with his wings, stomped on a few more, and bisected one with its beak. It spread its wingspan and screeched out a terrible cry.

Any pirate still alive quickly boarded their ship and took off. 

Most of the ships were immediately destroyed by the X-wings as they left the hangar bay.

Vero ran to the console and transferred control back to the bridge.

Meanwhile on the bridge

The console rebooted. The terminal promted for Turk to enter a password with 5 digits. The timer indicated three minutes until impact.

Comms: Turk, this is Norrin Radd of the New Alderaan defense force. What is your status?

Turk: Three minutes until impact.

Comms: We'll blow up the ship when it gets too close. May the force be with you.

Turk: Well any ideas?

Just then, the dismembered protocol droid's head sprung to life. 

Droid: Take this device. The password contains five digits, each a number between 1 and 5, and each digit used only once. I am sorry that I could not be of further help, my friends. May the force be with you. Dagger out.

This confirmed that DM/C3 had been Dagger the whole time.

Golden Wheels pried a dongle out of the hands of the droid, which was nowhere near the head. They plugged the dongle into the console.

Turk first tried 1 2 3 4 5

The dongle indicated that one number was in the correct position.

The team tried other passwords and the dongle continued to tell them how many digits they had in the right postion. They got closer and closer to the correct password, as New Alderaan grew larger and larger in the window. 

Sweat began to pour down everyone's brow. The palace was now clearly visible.

Edit: This section fell flat. None of the players really believed that they were in any kind of danger and they knew they’d get unlimited guesses until they got the right answer. D’Wook’s player, who is always very engaged kinda zoned out. I get what the authors were going for, but making the puzzle dependent on the players’ logic skills rather than the characters kinda takes away from immersion. Also what kind of idiot security system makes you generate a password with only digits 1-5 and only being able to use each digit once? Why are these computer systems so easy to hack in the galaxy far far away?

Comms: Turk this is Norrin Radd. We'll blow up the ship in 10, 9, 8...

Finally someone entered 5 3 2 4 1 

The password went through and restored control over the ship.

Grundle: Pull up! Pull up!

Turk flew the ship upward and away from the Asteroid as everyone let out a sigh of relief.

Turk got on the intercom.

Turk: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your bass guitarist speaking. With the help of the New Alderaan defense force, we have defeated the pirates and will now make an unscheduled stop at the New Alderaan casino and resort. Repeat, the pirates have been defeated. Please make your way to the hangar bay to ferry down to the Asteroid.

Hal finally made his way to the top of the turbolift shaft and onto the bridge.

Hal: Did I miss anything important?

Everyone stared at him and they all started laughing, like so many endings to episodes of '80s cartoons.

Roll Credits